Windows 7

I got the new pre-order copy of Windows 7 the other day - I've downloaded and tried the beta release a few months ago, and that looked very promising, it even felt faster than Vista, I liked that, fell for the publicity blurb and decided to belong somehow, so I ordered 2 copies of the new Operating System - From PC-World (they've only sent me 1 Copy, but that is another story) - And now that I have the Software, I really don't want to use it.. The main reason being that, it takes me ages after every release of Windows to get my machine the way I like it, and also to upgrade a machine is usually a nightmare when it comes to Windows, you always end up deleting and formatting everything and starting again from scratch - followed by years of patching, service packs, security updates and misery.. No matter how good the new release is, I've decided to wait for when I buy a new Machine with Windows 7 already installed..

30 Oct 2009

I woke up a little bit late this morning, so the only thing I watched on BBC Breakfast TV was - Jamie Cullum - Selling his new Album "The Pursuit" - A Fifteen minute advert with the video playing and followed by an interview with the Album Cover plastered all over the background, then followed by another Video.. Apparently he is very big in Japan.. I didn't say that, he said he's been to Japan around 5 times in the past 2 years... We also plug the tour, tickets are for sale now.. Check the website for details and venues..

David Tenant - Dr. Who - Selling the special on GM TV. Selling a new series he is this afternoon and also a plug for the Christmas Special of Dr. Who..

This bit is nothing to do with anything else - It's just that every year there is a new selling fad on TV - this year, it "Selling your Old Gold and Jewelery" - there are more adverts for that than anything else - last year it Was "National Home Buyers" or there about, we buy your home for top whack, the year before that it Was "Had and Accident, then Claim with Us", how about "Compare your Energy Supplier" - and who could forget "Compare The Insurance Company" and double Glazing, etc.., etc... I'm sure its the same people, they just sit somewhere and decide, "What shall we buy / sell this year?", "How about Dogs?", "No these are a bit messy, we need something a bit more, you know what I mean...", "How about Air?", "No, no, no, The Government's got there first, believe me, if we can do it, we would - we need something a bit more Shiny, something Solid,  something the people can touch and feel, something like Gold",  "Mmmm, How about Gold?",  "Gold sounds Good", "Then its decided, Gold it is!"... I can't wait to see what it will be next year...

Please search online for TV Gold Scam before sending anything to anybody or accepting any offer... 

29 Oct 2009

On ITV, This Morning - we have Jessie Wallace (Kat from Eastenders) - Selling her new Tap Dance Show - "Stepping Out" - And also her new Fitness DVD - Out for Christmas. This is always the case every year, Spongers come out of the woodwork, selling Books and Fitness DVD's during the season of good will, and then half way through the following year, they'll come back on our screens, with all the weight piled back on and then some, and sell you the new book - how to be Fat and Happy.

On Loose Women - ITV - We have a washed out 50 year old Actress who had become a Rock Starlet - in a Band called "Screw Loose" - I'm sure she is very good, I'll be following the Band from this day forth..

Mr. Alan Davies with his Curly perm - selling his new book again, this time on Loose Women - He is also trying to sell the New "Jonathan Creek" DVD...

28 Oct 2009


Barry Cryer - X not so Funny Comedian - On BBC Breakfast selling his new book -"Butterfly Brain" - The good news is, I couldn't even find that book online, I really had to look hard to find the pictures, so the chance of finding it in your local Bookstore is pretty much impossible..

We also have, on BBC Breakfast, A group of new age, hippy "its not Jazz" Jazz Musicians selling their wares - I didn't watch that part from the beginning, so sadly, I don't even know their name, so I can't buy their record... And a washed out actor, I don't know his name - trying to sell the new series of "Waterloo Road" - they are really pushing the boundaries here - they have somebody talking about that series every day. They mentioned that he was on "Strictly Come Dancing" last year, with Camella???? And apparently, he is learning to Sing now - I will be looking forward to buying the record..

On GM TV today , we have 2 Actors trying to sell the Musical "Oliver" - I don't even know their names - one of them used to be in "The Bill" - He is playing the part of "Fagan" - Please, please, please - watch the show - think of the children - we need viewers - its Christmas - they even made us sing for our supper. Please...

27 Oct 2009

On BBC Breakfast Today, We have Jo Whoever (she's supposed to be a "Celebrity" of a sort) - She's just been kicked out of Strictly Come Dancing - I really don't know who she is... I'm sure she is another famous for nothing effort...

James May (Top Gear Fame) - Selling his new program - about toys... "Toy Stories" - You can tell he had a rough Night, before appearing on TV - We need viewers please, or else this program will go the same way as the wine one.. Please... He is also selling the new "James May Amazing Brain Training DVD Game" - This will be out in November..

Director "Ang Lee" - Selling his new movie "Taking Woodstock" - For a moment, I thought I was back in the Sixties, watching the original "Star Trek" with Mr. Sulu. The trailer looked good, but as they say in Bolton, good films sell themselves and not the other way..

On the Wright Stuff - Channel 5 - We always have one Sponger on  the Panel - the one on the Left, and today, there is no exception - we have a Mr. Michael Obiora, selling his brand new novel "Black Shoes"..

I'm sure the Nokia Mobile Phone Sudoku Game Version is not that intelligent - it just has a number of set presets and you have to follow them blindly, if there are two or more valid moves / combinations, the game will not accept these as valid, unless you put the number in the exact cell it already has in its memory banks... Stupid, just plain stupid...

On This Morning - ITV - We have Stephen Graham - trying to sell the new DVD "Public Enemies" - Even though the movie wasn't that bad - not many people bothered to watch it in Cinemas, so we need you to buy the DVD, please...

 Actress Jenna whoever, used to be an actress on Emmerdale and now she is in Something Called "Waterloo Road" - I never watched either, and I'm a bit too old to start now - Good new though, she can carve a mean Pumpkin..

And on Loose Women Today - ITV - we have Mr. Aled Jones (The Snowman - Walking in the Air Fame)- selling his new book - "Forty Favourite Hymns" -  and also, his appearance in a Panto-Musical at the Lawry Center - Manchester - Not forgetting his Ultimate Collection CD which is out shortly... Just in time for Christmas..  The sad thing is this, he was not the original singer on "Walking in the Air" - A Mr. "Peter Auty" was - but we know who got the credit.. They used him because they thought he was cute-ish when he was younger  - the problem is he is not cute anymore - so should we buy the things or not.... I have a policy of only buying things from cute people..

And tonight on the Paul O'Grady Show - We have Alan Davies, a not so funny (or good) actor with an annoying curly hair style, I don't know whether its a perm or a perm, selling his new Autobiography - "My Favorite People and Me" - I really don't  like the hair style - that's one reason why I would not buy the book..

Anna Friel and James Dreyfus - Trying to get people to watch the new play - "Breakfast at Tiffany's" - as they said, its the hottest ticket in town - I'm sure it is, the only problem is that there is a waiting list for the Tickets of Zero Days, and I can't wait that long - Like today is Tuesday, and I can still buy tickets for Today's show (well, it is 5:50), and regardless of the promise to see Anna in the Nude, which I would like to see please, the whole thing just stinks of desperation.. Also Anna tried to sell her 2 other movies, whatever and whatever, these will be out soon..

A few weeks ago, during National Poetry Day - there was a ten minute advert on BBC Breakfast, trying to sell us the Poetry CD - Somehow, all these "Washed Out" Celebrities didn't manage to shift many copies of the CD, so today, they had somebody else on the One Show - BBC 1 - trying to sell that CD again - please buy it, think of the Children..

I keep seeing Phil Jupitus (not so funny Comedian) all over the show - every time I turn a channel - He is there trying to sell the new play that he is appearing in "Hairspray" - with photos of him dressed in drag - Sadly the policy of only buying things by cute people applies here, so I will not be watching this - like the majority of people in this country.. 

26 Oct 2009

I haven't watched much TV for the past few days.. Today, I'm going back into the routine - watch TV, then watch TV, then Watch some more TV... But sadly, I didn't start till late tonight - with the One Show - on BBC 1 - We have Leona Lewis - Selling her new Book - you know the thing about these talented beautiful people, they write books when they are not Singing, Dancing or Prancing about..  I have nothing against the Woman or her Master, Mr. Simon Cowell, however, she didn't strike me as being the Brightest Bulb in the Box... But she must have some sort of talent, otherwise, how could she do all those wonderful things and even have time to sing... Please don't get me one of those for Christmas...

23 Oct 2009

Katherine Jenkins again - this time on BBC Breakfast - selling her new album - Believe - Just a remake of good songs, made bad.. That's my opinion... I know what I will not be getting  for Christmas.. - For some reason - the women reminds me of a Russian Mafia Boss Wife,...

Smokey Robinson - On BBC Breakfast - Selling his new Album at the tender age of nine hundred and ninety nine, apparently he is performing because it gives him a buzz...

And today on This Morning, we have a Washed out Actress - I don't know her name - Promoting her 2 movies - one with 50 Cent and Danny Dyer, need I say more, its called "Dead Man Running" or there about - a Gangster movie - and the second is a half French, half  English, half Arsed effort - apparently, its so good that nobody knows its name...

We follow that by the ODD Couple from Coronation Street - selling the new, DVD only, Coronation Street Holiday Special Episode - Romanian Holiday - There is one of these, DVD only efforts, out every year, and I'm sure they always say they'll not show these on TV, and then they do - Another one for Santa's Sack..

Next, we have Tracy Shaw - Ex. Coronation Street Actress - Plugging her appearance on Casualty and her new Pantomime at the where ever theater.

On Loose Women - ITV - we have Tracy-Ann Oberman - selling the new internet only series - at www.canyousaveher.com - I will not be watching this, I've got enough TV to watch - I don't wanna do that online as well...

Also on Loose Women, we have Mr. Roy something or other - Old School, not so funny Comedian - Plugging his new Autobiography - He said the highlight of his career  was being on Loose Women - if that is not a good reason why I shouldn't buy the book - then I just don't know what is?...

As Mel Gibson Says - FREEDOM! - what freedom?

I don't know why the Government wants to listen to all our calls and check out and monitor all our internet activities - If you ask them, they say its something to do with security and fighting terrorism. But in reality, if a terrorist wanted to avoid being caught by the Government, they just need to go to the £1 Shop and buy a few new SIM Cards - and give a list of these numbers to your Terrorist Friends with a code, telling them on what day to use which SIM - And if you are feeling generous, you can buy your friends some SIM Cards as well and even top these up with a Tenners worth of calls..  So the question remain, why the Government wants to listen to all our calls and check out and monitor all our internet activities?

21 Oct 2009

Tonight on the Graham Norton Show - BBC 1 - We have 3 Advertising Slots or is that Sluts, I don't know:)

Katie Price Selling Her New Book - "Standing Out" - most likely another Autobiography - She Churns these at the rate of 2 a week.

We also have Jo Brand - Selling her new book - "Looking Back In Hunger"..

And last but not least, we have Jackie Collins - Selling her new Novel - "Poor Little Bitch Girl"..

And who said the art of sponge writing is dead...

PS. The show was a repeat from whenever - it was shown after 12AM, hence the date - I never watched the original and I didn't watch much of this one either - so the information might be a little duff - please don't sue...

20 Oct 2009

Today on BBC Breakfast - we have "The Proclaimers" - selling their new Album, Single and Gig- what more can I say. I'm just wondering - do the BBC pay its "Guests" some sort of monetary compensation for being there... I bet they do...

A plug for a new program "My Supermodel Baby" with the mother and the toddler telling us about it..

Keith Allen - selling the new TV program - "7 Days on the Breadline" - Or something like that - telling us about how Britain is a "Third World Country" despite of what politicians tell us.. - And digging at the government again and again during the interview.. I don't think the man gives a flying ..... about those people or anybody else, he was paid for the week and its just another job...

Gok Wan - Selling His New Book / Show on GM TV.  And also Katherine Jenkins - Selling her new Album - her 7th Album in 6 years- on GM TV - I don't want one of either...

Trinny Woodall - The Other half of Trinny & Susannah - On This Morning - ITV - Plugging the new TV program "7 Days on the Breadline" - doing it for the new Lip Plumping Collagen Injections, these don't come cheap now, do they...And showing her caring side by telling us how she has paid for a 1 year's Broadband connection for the women that she stayed with.. Now that, gets me right there...

Alexandra Burke - Simon Cowell's Minion - On This Morning - ITV - Is at it again, trying to sell the new Single and Album, Apparently, she had a £1000 bet with her Master - Mr. Cowell, on what position the single would enter the charts at - She thought No. 2, He said No. 1 - Simon did win, she is not gonna pay him,  instead she is gonna pay a Dog's home because Simon likes Dogs, I would never have guessed that, looking at Sinitta. Either way, No. 1 or No. 2 is what I think of the record...

Tom Parker Bowles - Who ever he is - Selling his new Cook Book - "Full English" - I know what I'm not getting for Christmas... Another example of who you know - There is nothing wrong with this country, as long as you know, or you are related to the right people, you go to the right places, you attend the same Schools / Colleges / Universities - and mingle in the same social circles, and with the right crowd.... Perfect, Just Perfect...

We have Stavros Flatley and Son again, on the Alan Titchmarsh show (ITV) - Selling the new book - see yesterday's comments - The kid still does not go to School and nobody seems to care...

Holly Johnson, Something or other from Frankie Goes to Hollywood - on the One Show - BBC 1 - selling his new Songs / Mini EP and the new Best of Frankie Goes to Hollywood CD...

The Bank Of Horrors..

I've just sold my old trusted Laptop, for pittance, on eBay - and decided to buy a new, all singing, all dancing, replacement.  On Saturday, I found a very good deal on the internet, from a National Reputable Mobile Phone Company... - Like millions before me, I decided to order that using my trusted Credit Card... So, I did, and everything seemed to go according to plan, no problems, no hassle...

2 or so Hours later, I checked and everything seemed to be OK, and also, no one was able to order the same laptop from the website, because I've ordered the last unit they've had in stock.. I was happy that I did, about time something goes my way....

The next day, in the afternoon, Sunday - A Robotic Automated Voice, Rings me from My Bank with regard to the new Transaction - and wanting to confirm that it was me who ordered the Laptop.. The conversation went like this...

[Robo Bank] Good Afternoon - We need to Speak to MR....
[Robo Bank] If this is MR... Please press 1 for Yes and 2 for No
[Me] I pressed 1 - Because I was MR.....
[Robo Bank] For Security Purpose - Can you Key In Your Year of Birth as a 2 Digit Number..
[Me] I Did..
[Robo Bank] If you are not MR... Please hang up now, or else, Enter your Day/Month of Birth as 4 Digits...
[Me] I Did..
[Robo Bank] The Details You've Entered Does Not Match Our Records - Please Try Again...
[Me] So I Did again..
[Robo Bank] The Details You've Entered Does Not Match Our Records - We will transfer you to a Customer Service Adviser As Soon As Possible..

So I waited and waited and waited, eventually an operator somewhere in downtown New-Delhi answered the phone: The conversation went Like this:

[Bank Employee] What is the Problem Mr.... 
[Me] I explained..
[Bank Employee] We need to confirm few security details with you...
[Me] OK
[Bank Employee] What's your date of Birth...
[Me] ..... whatever

[Bank Employee] This is not what we have on our system..
[Me] You are Joking - I should know my date of Birth. Can you check against your records for my other account please...
[Bank Employee] We can't do that sir, we are not authorised.

[Me] You have my authorisation todo so..

[Bank Employee] We can't do that sir, because you are not who you say you are..
[Me] Let me think, you've just phoned me on this telephone number, you can confirm all other details with me, address, additional card holders, transaction history, my address, etc, etc... So I must be the person you are after..
[Bank Employee] We can't do that sir,

[Me] I'm not really asking you for anything - I'm just asking you to check 2 dates of birth and fix one of these at your leisure, you don't even need to talk to me
.[Bank Employee] We can't do that sir,
[Me] In Vain and Clutching at Straws - Trust Me - It's Me...
[Bank Employee] We can't do that sir,
[Me] What can I do now?
[Bank Employee] You need to go to your Bank Branch Tomorrow and Tell Them, They'll ring us and confirm your date of Birth.....
[Me] OK, Thank You...

Comes the Next Day - Monday - I go to the Bank.- wait and wait and wait in a queue..

[Me] I told the Bank Lady on Reception my story; and she Says,
[Bank Employee 2] This has nothing to do with us, Ring the credit Card Company and sort it out that way...
[Me] OK - and I go back home and Ring The Credit Card Company..

So I go back home and ring the Credit Card Company.. And believe me when I say, it's not easy to talk to these people or get hold of them - you have to wait for about 10 or so minutes each time, listening to Green Bloody Sleeves, over and over and over again..

[Credit Card Employee] Hello, how can I help you today,
[Me] Hello, Give them my details and I tell them my Story thus far..
[Credit Card Employee] Sorry, we can't help you on the phone - you have to go to the Bank Branch, with an ID and make sure they ring us from there,
[Me] OK, Thank You - I take my ID's with me and go to the Bank again, Wait and wait and wait in a queue.
[Me] I told the Bank Lady on Reception my story; and this time I had to wait for somebody to see me, my local branch manager - the same person who gave me a loan a month earlier and arranged my remortgage as well around three months before that- I thought I'm on a winner there.. I told him my story again.. He checks my account details... and start questioning me..
[Bank Employee 3] So what is your Date of Birth Then...
[Me] I told him  whatever, whatever, 19 something, something..
[Bank Employee 3] Everything seems to be in order. Let me have a word with them..
[Me] OK, Thank You..
[Bank Employee 3] He rings the Credit Card Arm of the Bank - The Issuers of the Card - Everything seems to be in order here - can we sort this out now..

He chats to them for a while and then tells me that:

[Bank Employee 3] You have failed on 2 Security Checks, and when I asked what those were, he fobbed me off by saying that they are not allowed to disclose this information, and that is why I need to bring 2 forms of ID - As they've lost my original records, which is my fault (obviously)... That way they can update the records and everything else in one go.

I give him my ID's, which constituted of some Credit Cards and statement, he said they can't accept these, and that I needed proper ID's - He kindly offered to tell "Sam" at the front counter of what we need, so that I don't need to wait longer than necessary..

[Me] OK, I said while thinking what a bunch of incompetent idiots I'm dealing with.. I set back for home to bring my 2 forms of Identifications..

I get my Driving License and some bills, statements and other Credit Cards and set back to the Bank..

[Me] Wait in the Queue again to see Sam - I've got the ID's you requested and then some...
[Sam] I'm sorry Mr... we need photo ID's - we can't use these...

Apparently my Driving License was the old style paper one, the one with no photo, hence they could not use it.. OK, I'll go back home and bring something else..

This time, I go back home and collect my Passport and a "Home Office Issued" ID Card - Both Have photos - but sadly my Passport was 2 months out of date, but I thought what the heck - If they don't take the first document, then they will take the second...

So I go back to the Bank and wait in the Queue once again...

[Me] Here we go again - your photo ID..
[Sam] Sorry Mr .... Your passport is out of date and we don't accept your "Home Office" Photo ID.. (I don't blame them, It's only the highest office in the land)..

[Me] OK, Just pretend that its not me and that somebody else has opened 2 accounts with your "Good" Bank, and somehow, someone managed to enter two different dates of Birth for the same person - and you've just spotted that, without me being there - and you wanted to fix the problem, so that both Dates are the same - what would you do., I don't care which date you decide on, as long as you tell me my new official date of Birth...
[Sam] We need two forms of Photo ID to do that..
[Me] Even if it was your fault..
[Sam] Sorry Mr ... We can't help you without the Photo ID's..

[Me] Can you say anything without 2 Photo ID's..

So by now, I was bloody fuming at the stupidity of the whole episode and the people involved - I've been with the same Bank for over 28 years, I've never been overdrawn and I always had money in my account, my wife has a savings account with them and so do my kids, all wages and transactions go through that bank and account all the time.. Oh my God, what have I done.. What a bunch of Bankers... God help me, the country and the economy..

This just reminded me of when we wanted to open a "First Saver" account for my Daughter, she was 2 at the time, at another Bank - "The Royal Bank Of Scotland", they Insisted on having 2 forms of  ID and two recent utility bills, not for me but for my daughter, because a birth certificate was not an adequate document.. Or when another bank, This time "Natwest", decided to Charge Me, because I had less than £200, in my high interest account, and when I wanted to close the account and get my money out, They said - We've already closed that account for you - We did that when the balance reached zero, because we did not want to keep charging you for having less than £200 in your account, what a bunch of kind Bankers (they still managed to steal £135 from me)... Either way, that was then and this is now, and I don't hold any grudges... And as long as I don't use either of the above two banks, well, then I'm happy...

[Me] I get back home, very unhappy - I ring my bank, give them my details and a piece of my mind - they apologise,  I told them, if they still think that I'm not who I say I am, then I don't need to pay my Credit Card Bill now, do I.. They said, oh no - you still have to pay that - well, then can you sort it out so that both dates of birth correspond..
[Bank Operator] Sorry Mr ...., we can't do that without 2 Photo ID's..

I said thank you and put the phone down, and wished that I had the means to tell the Bank to go forth and multiply, or just get them out of my life forever...

My Bank is Lloyds TSB... And its definitely not for the rest of my Journey..
The New Shiny Laptop was a Dell Inspiron 1750
It was on offer at the Car Phone Warehouse...

And My New Shiny Laptop, Well, it just wasn't meant to be:(

19 Oct 2009

I haven't watched much TV lately - apart from the X-Factor last night - 18 Oct 09, where it was Whitney Houston's big come back, and Cheryl Cole sang her debut single - both performances were less than ordinary, I think I heard better performances from the show's rejects, and yet the judges, especially Simon Cowell, had to say how good they were - I must have been watching a different show or I don't know what sounds good, which that was not....

Today, we have somebody from Emmerdale Soap Opera - On GM TV - selling the new Cliff Hanger episode, tonight on ITV, and short of destroying the full village with a Catastrophic Nuclear Accident and irradiating the area for next 10,000 years, I don't think any other plot would persuade me to watch the show...

We also have Spandu Ballet on GM TV selling their new not so Sold Out Tour - at the O2 arena and other places, they always say, the second time is always better, especially when you consider that they were shite the first time round... I blame it all on Take That and The bloody Revival of all these Defunct Bands... I hope they do well, but still, I will not be watching...


And on Breakfast TV Today - We have Stavros Flatley and His Son - selling their new Book -"How to be (a Little Bit) Greek" - I've nothing against this, but, is the kid gonna go to School sometime or what??, Or is TV that much more important than any education.. Oh well, who am I to complain, being funny is obviously more important...

We also have somebody else - selling a book about the Beatles, Photos behind the Scenes - I don't know his name and I don't care.. How much more should one Milk the same Cash Cow for.. Forever it seems - I'm not a big Beatles Fan (in the Grand Scheme of things, I don't really matter), although I do like some of their songs, however I always thought they were a bit overrated - out of 300 or so song they recorded, around 30 or so are good, the rest are what you call Fillers - so we have a 10% good to filler ratio...

I have to go out now.. no more TV for now...

16 Oct 2009

JLS - the nice Simon Cowell Boys;) - on GM TV - the making of their new video - in L.A. - why not... The video could have been shot anywhere, but it is shot in L.A. instead - this is not because Simon wants people to think that these are the trappings of success.. They had to hire extras to pretend to be their Girlfriends, I wonder why;)...

And on GM TV as well, we have Cheryl Cole - Selling, selling, selling everything, books, singles, shampoos.. The ultimate WAG - every young Girl wants to be just like her. Me, I just think the world is all screwed up now a days. Instead of rewarding hard working people, who struggle to make ends meet, everybody seems to reward idiots, who have done absolutely nothing....

We also have Jimmy Osmond Again - This time on the Wright Stuff - Channel 5 - Selling his new tour...

15 Oct 2009

Today on BBC Breakfast TV, we have - Sir Ranulph Fiennes- Selling his new book
- "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" - Available at all good, and not so good, Bookstores.

A book about his family, and the terrible things they had to endure during the centuries - and how many Butts they had lick to get where they are - (should have called it "Spongers through the ages, My Family"), and also how hard it is to keep a Castle going, Life's Hard. This goes to show that, regardless of background, Money Talks and Bullshit Walks, or in this case sits on the BBC Breakfast Couch...

Next, we have the most Awkward interview in the history of time - 2 unfunny presenters not getting anything, and pretending to understand everything - With jokes flying all over, and a laggy response time from those same, Animated, Robotic, BBC presenters - This was during an embarrassing interview with Jason Bateman and Malin Akerman (who are under strict instructions to Sell, Sell, Sell) - this years biggest flop, their new "Big in Japan" Movie - "Couples Retreat".. I'm sure that lots of BBC Breakfast viewers, with the average age of 95, will be going to the cinema to watch that.... (I got the names from the IMDB website)...

Those same viewers will be buying our next guest's new Album and Single - "Bad Boys" - Alexandra Burke, one of Simon Cowell's many minions, and Last Year's X-Factor Winner is with us here today - selling her new stuff, while staying level headed and keeping her feet firmly on the ground - in those Killer Heels, you've got to be joking... 

In the meantime, on the other Channel - GM TV - we have - somebody selling a new program on BBC 3 - the World's Strictest Family or some bullshit like that about spoilt prats, that need a good kick up the....

We also have 2 washed out, ex. soap opera, loser actors trying to sell an all new, internet only production, soap opera, series, drama, whatever you want to call it - "Girl No. 9" - probably, by the time anybody watches that, the link will refer to a porno website... They were so uncomfortable with the idea and concept, that you couldn't help but feel sorry for them - I know what I will not  be watching... (I didn't get the names, and I don't care, but they used to be on TV,  honest - yeah I know what you are thinking and I agree, the standards are lacks in the UK)....

And guess who's been a busy boy then - it's Sir. Ranulph Fiennes - selling his Book again, this time on "This Morning" - ITV - Well, Old Chap - Another one for the team - Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it... 

Also on This Morning, we have a plug for the new movie "The Fantastic Mr Fox" - with George Clooney - I'm sure its gonna be good...

And today on Loose Women - ITV - We have - Charles Collingwood - Somebody from the “Archers” – Selling his new Book again “Brian and ME” - He is trying very hard - last time it was on BBC Breakfast TV..

Also, we have Loose Women Flogging their new Book - "Here Come The Girls" - on Loose women - I'm confused...

A woman comedian - who is not that funny, selling her new tour - I don't know her name - but she does the advert for too much salt in food- "Full Of It" - and now we know what she is full of...

And tonight on the Paul O'Grady Show - We have no Paul O'Grady - He's off somewhere, no doubt writing a new Book and the third installment of his autobiography, I look forward to that... And while the main man is away, life still goes on - So we have Arlene Philips selling the new show "So You Think You Can Dance" - I don't know who the women is but I think she was a judge on some dance show, and she got replaced by another...

The One Show - BBC1 - Jimmy Osmond - Selling the New Osmond, Leo Sayer and Bay City Rollers - Tour... Three Crappy 70's Acts - Doing The Super Crappy 70's Revival Tour...

Happy Days Are Here Again - Or - Business As Usual - F U Very Much...

Almost two thirds of London's financial community expect their bonus this year to be the same or higher than what they received in 2008, according to a new report.  The report by recruitment consultants Morgan McKinley also found that only one in four workers said their employer was restructuring their compensation package, suggesting that banks were not revising the structure of their pay policies despite regulatory pressure to do so.  Eighty-two percent of the 200 financial service professionals who participated in the survey said they expect to receive a bonus for 2009/2010 and of these, 79% said they expect this payment to be similar or higher than the amount they received for 2008/09. This means that 64%, expect a similar or larger bonus.

Meanwhile on the other side of  the pond - we have - Bankers at Goldman Sachs are set to pocket a Record Breaking  $20bn - Having recently repaid its $10bn bail-out from the US Treasury, thus releasing it from government compensation legislation, the bank is on track to produce a total compensation pot of  $20bn this year, according to analysis of analysts' estimates by the Wall Street Journal...

If Goldman manages to deliver the figure, it would mean an average compensation of $700,000 per employee.  Although the pot covers health-care and other costs including share options, as well as pay and bonuses, the figure is still almost twice the average $363,000 paid out last year. In addition, it is slightly higher than the average $661,000 received in 2007.  The averages are somewhat meaningless, however, given some bankers will receive substantially more than the average and many will receive a lot less.



But the expected announcement by Goldman Sachs will do little to reassure the public that the world of finance has changed its ways since the economic meltdown.  Others including JP Morgan and Barclays are expected to follow suit by announcing staff bonuses at the end of the year..

13 Oct 2009

Its official, there were no spongers yesterday or the day before - I just couldn't be arsed watching TV - however, today is a different matter.

We start with Lynda Bellingham (OXO Women) - getting the ball rolling for her autobiography on Breakfast TV - seeing that her only claim to fame is being the OXO mum in a commercial, and the odd bloody Pantomime appearance every year.. Wow, what an interesting read this will be...

Now I know why people write books - a £250,000.00 deal in the case of Lynda Bellingham... Just Imagine how much they would pay if it was for somebody who is actually a bit famous, or someone who has done something... Its a Funny Old World....

Next, we have Vic Reeves, An unfunny comedian, actor, singer, writer and an artist selling his new Book - an A-Z collection of his artwork with "educational" information in true Vic Reeves' style (shit) - in other words erroneous facts and misleading advice about the universe. 'Vic Reeves' Vast Book of World Knowledge' out now.

Last but not least, we have Leslie Ash - looking more and more like a across between a Fish and the Joker from Batman. She's just got her first job in 5 years, on the award winning show "Casualty",  and is trying her best to stay there - Casualty seems to be a Grave Yard for all those "talented" loser actors - not so long ago, it was "Emmerdale Farm" - you just need see whose there and you'll know what I mean...

And tonight on the Paul O'Grady Show - We have- American Idol winner - Jordin Sparks - Singing a Remake of a 90's Song (Let The Music Play - Shannon) - and trying to sell her new Album and Single. I always think that remakes are an easy cash cow for talentless individuals and winners of these sham, so called "talent", shows...

Gandalf himself Ian McKellen, talking about his new series "The Prisoner" - a remake of the 70's psychedelic, drug induced, pointless, story-less series - the one with BIG Balloons chasing you... He was also hinting at the fourth installment of "Lord of The Rings" - Which is no longer a Trilogy - I think somebody better tell  J. R. R. Tolkien - the new term is Quadrilogy...

10 Oct 2009

Chris Evans again, on Saturday Kitchen - BBC 1 - Selling his new book...

09 Oct 2009

Simon Cowell's sidekick Senita (Claim to Fame - Ex. 80's Crap Singer) - was on GMTV today - selling the X-Factor "LIVE" Finals - with a plug for Robbie William (Ex. Take That) and a plug for Alexandra Burke (Last Year's Winner)....

Piers Morgan - on This Morning - Selling his new TV program - Interviewing people who mean nothing to me...

I'm having problems with the BBC TV channels reception today...

This Morning - ITV - Sheila Hancock - trying to sell more tickets to Sister Act - the Musical - Rave Reviews but still no audience... How many times you have to bring the troops out for a singalong....

Chris Rea is on Loose Women - ITV - Selling the same stuff as what he did on Breakfast TV - Selling the best of Chris Rea CD and single - and the Blues whatever book - and a plug for a future album - and also the Autobiography which he is writing now and the Tour...

Tonight on Paul O'Grady Show we have: Miss Honor Blackman, I don't know what she was selling. We also have Brian Conley, trying to sell tickets to Hairspray the musical and a plug for his Christmas Pantomime...

Tonight with Jonathan Ross - BBC 1 - We have:

Chris Evans - selling his new book... Everybody seems to be writing books this time of year...


JLS - The Simon Cowell Boys - Selling their new Book & Tour - Those eyebrows are so shaped to perfection and are very, very tidy. All the boys seem to be very much Mummy's Boys;), and they don't seem to have girlfriends either - I wonder why? My daughter likes them though....

The book is called "Our Story So Far" - and you know that there isn't much writing in there, because there hasn't been much of a story thus far. You just have a glossy book with lots of photos, selling to young Girls and Boys;)...

In The Hammer We Trust - Part II

To cut a long story short.. The other day, I was expecting a delivery, and as per usual, there was a knock on my front door, I tried to open the offending, internal door, with a mighty pull, however, this time, the door did not open, but the handle came off in my hand.

Now, I was locked inside my house, with the delivery man waiting outside with a parcel... I'm not gonna bore you with the details of how I managed to escape, but it involved climbing and windows, shouting the delivery guy and make him walk in the house and push the door from the other side.. After this episode, I had no choice but to fix my original workmanshit.

So I started by getting new handles and door mechanism from my local DIY store -Get the things back home, and try to fit these... I wish life was straight forward with no problems..

[1] The Door Mechanism was 2.5" long - the new one was 3.5", so I needed to drive back and get the right one, so I did, looking like an idiot in the process.

[2] The Steel Bar (I don`t know the technical terms for that) the one you have between the handles, was too long - I needed to cut it, but I had no means of doing that - so I had to drive back and have it done at the same place, and looking like a bigger idiot in the process..

[3] The Handles needed special drilled holes for fixing, I managed that with a Drill....

[4] The hole in the door for the latch was not deep enough and it needed deepening. I did that with a drill.

After all this hassle, I put the things together, and still, they would not fit properly... So I had to resort to the only tool that could do it all in one - "THE HAMMER" - and like a true professional, I banged everything that did not fit, into place... Perfect, just perfect - who needs any other tool, when you have a "HAMMER" - and now, the door looks shit, but it does open and close better than before... The only problem is, you still have to push and pull to open once again, I hope the handle doesn`t come off in my hand anytime soon...

08 Oct 2009

And on BBC Breakfast TV Today.

Peter Hook Ex. New Order Band Member - Selling his new Book - The Hacienda . Saying exactly the same bullshit as he did last night, and no doubt on every show he goes on...

Wow, the First British Street Dance Film, Starring Diversity,  is due for release. Now that is a good idea - I will Street Dance my way to a Movie Theater Near Me. They also showed a School where they use dance, and guess what, Street Crime has fallen...  We all know what the Police should do...

A ten minute advert - A Long List of Washed Out Actors and Actresses - Selling a New Poetry CD - Words for you - Island Records... Wow, on Poetry Day as well... What a Coincidence... You can get the CD in the Middle of November or on Amazon, Now - All I say is, I know what I don't want for Christmas...

And tonight on the Paul O`Grady Show, we have: The Prince of Darkness himself - Ozzy Osbourne, I really don't know what he was selling or saying, he is too far gone for me or anybody else, to make any sense of what he is saying -  his wife was there as well (Sharon) with a Cameo Appearance - Now I Know - He was selling his new book - I AM OZZY - or what would happen if you get wasted for 20 years... I think the government has missed a golden opportunity to stamp out Drug Abuse once and for-all, by having a "Talk to Ozzy" campaign instead of the "Talk to Frank" Rubbish...

We’ve also have Julian Clary, funny-ish Comedian needing audience for his new tour...
 
Stephen Moyer who does a Vampire TV series that I've never watched, needing more viewers....

I almost forgot, I was flicking between TV Channels this morning and I couldn't help watching a little bit of the Jeremy Vile Show on ITV. He had a Celebrity Special with Jade Goody's Mum in the hot seat..  Apparently, the Mum was paid £25K to appear on Celebrity Big Brother, with her parents Getting a Further £10K each - and I thought, I knew what's wrong with the world today. Pay, appreciate and idolise Scum for doing nothing, while watching real people struggle. And when things go wrong and you lose your job, you get the experts out, in their slick suits, the ones that never had a real job in their life, to apportion the blame and to fix everything..

The one Show with Terry Gilliam - Selling His New Movie - The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus... It must really be bad, or so very over budget that they have to work so hard to push it like that...

07 Oct 2009

 I had to finish a job late last night, so I didn`t bother to watch TV this morning - I`m sure there were no spongers on today, and definitely not on BBC Breakfast TV...

This Morning - ITV - Natalie Imbugrlia - selling her new Single & Album again... I`m not watching TV today - there are no more spongers on...

Peter Hook Ex. New Order Band Member - Granada Report - Selling a new Book - The Hacienda .

06 Oct 2009

The Wild West Cowboy Orchestra - I'm not sure of the name - were on BBC Breakfast - an Aussie outfit that plays Wild West / Cowboy Movie themes... I don't mind much about watching these, the problem with watching anything, with sound, music or rhythm, on BBC Breakfast, is the addition of the obligatory GruntMaster 2006 Echo Machine to the sound - so something that would have been OK, supposedly becomes great, the problem is, it rarely does, and it just distorts everything and leave you thinking that if they need this, then they must be shit....

So come on BBC producers, leave the "Performers" alone and let the people decide whether they are shit or hit... 

An actor under contract, selling - The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - on BBC Breakfast - I don't know his name and I don't really care. I'm sure its gonna be as BIG as that other Movie Mr. Magorium`s Wonder Emporium...


And on Paul O'Grady Tonight, we have:


Peter Kay - Selling His new Unfunny DVD "Britain's Got The whatever Jesus Superstar Talent Factor Bullshit"- And part 2 of his Autobiography - no doubt there will be another part and another and another... Too much talent, shame about being very unfunny... However, as they say, every cloud has a Silver Lining - Mr. Kay, might be hanging his touring boots - I just have to pray harder, and hope that he will stop being on TV very soon.....

05 Oct 2009

La Toya Jackson on GMTV - selling her new single - Home - even though all proceeds are going to Charity - that does not change the fact that she is a very bad actress, trying to show her emotional side at the loss of her brother, and that seems to go for all the Jackson Clan. I can`t help feeling that they are all so very happy that the publicity surrounding Michael Jackson`s death has transformed their dwindling careers.

Chris Rea - 80`s Singer - on Breakfast TV - Selling the best of Chris Rea CD and single - and the Blues whatever book - and a plug for a future album - and also the Autobiography which he is writing now... Wow, the man is very talented - but I think he is trying his best to sell everything and make as much cash, before he hangs his Clogs for the last time... I must confess, that I always listen to Chris Rea when I`m Driving.... And I know for a fact that he already had a best of CD out there - the Platinum Collection...




Diana Vickers - one of Last Year`s Losers from the X-Factor - Plugging her appearance in a new Musical - Little Voice... there we two other Actors plugging the thing this morning on GMTV - I didn`t catch their names, but then - not many will watch that...

Jo Brand - on This Morning - Selling Her New Book - "Look Back in Hunger" - I`m sure she had another book out not so long ago.. Who am I to question the talent...

Madness on This Morning - Things must be really bad for Suggs and Company. They are releasing more records, albums and compilation, than ever, more gigs, and are on the TV more than actual TV presnters - the problem is - they are still shit and nobody is buying the records...

Don`t worry Madness - It must be love, love, love...

And Tonight on the Paul O'Grady Show - Channel 4 - We have:

Gladys Knight without her Pips - Selling the Farewell Tour - Good news, one of the Jacksons will be there, Tito Jackson... - Need more cash for Plastic Surgery... How many Farewell tours must she have (I think this is her second or third farewell tour now)...

Ricki Lake -  Selling her new book and documentary - Your Best Birth - how to have fun having a baby - seeing that nobody has done that ever, had a baby, since the beginning of time - Thank you Ricki for showing us how to do it and for saving the human race....

Harry Hill.- Award winning comedian - Selling his book TV Burps - in a couple of weeks he will have the new DVD out, so most likely we'll be seeing you again soon Harry...

04 Oct 2009

This is the first live entry - Something for the Weekend - BBC 2 - Natalie Imbruglia Selling her new Single and Album - I've seen her the other day on GMTV, but could not be arsed writing anything, today, I'll make an exception...

Cerys Matthews - Selling her new Single - She was the lead singer in Catatonia.. We know where the new single is going... (I thought she was the lead singer of Garbage, the above line would have made some sense)..

Watching the bloody program is making me hungry...


Barbara Streisand - Selling her new album - in an hour long interview / advert on BBC 1 with Jonathan Ross, and just in case you missed it on Friday, we will repeat it again tonight and you can also catch that on BBC iPlayer... Not bad for a no advertising TV channel...

01 Oct 2009

Nelly Furtado again - This time on BBC Breakfast - Selling New Album “Mi Plan” - So who's been a busy bee then..

Charles Collingwood - on BBC Breakfast - Somebody from the “Archers” – Selling his new Book “Brian and ME”..

Nelly Furtado again, This time on Channel 5 - New Chat Program - Selling New Album “Mi Plan” - Things must be bad in darkest Canada..

I'm glad that I've just finished typing things from my notes... From now on, I only need to type things once... Live, on the internet...

Happy reading and enjoy.....

30 Sep 2009

Ruth Watson's Hotel Rescue - on BBC Breakfast - talking about the new show on Channel 4..

Matt Lucas - on BBC Breakfast TV - New Play “Prick Up Your Ears” + A plug for Shooting Stars. - Another 2 unfunny efforts – I'm sure one day, people will wake up and discover that a lot of those so called comedians are really "NOT" that funny... I remember seeing him a few weeks earlier trying to sell another unfunny thing on TV... It mustn't have worked...

Ricky Gervais - Again - this time on GMTV - New Movie “The Invention of Lying” - I have a feeling that this movie will  go the way of his previous, very unfunny movie.. You are really, so unfunny... - The man is making movies in his sleep..

Olivia Newton John + Husband - Selling DVD + Blue Ray "Grease" - on the Paul O'Grady show - Channel 4 - And the husband selling Amazon Herb ZAMU™ Drink – So,  CLEAR YOUR MIND • BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY™ - As they say in the USA..

Nelly Furtado on the Paul O'Grady show - Channel 4- Selling New Album “Mi Plan” - Her first Spanish Language Studio Album – I'm sure it will sell many copies in Bolton – Its sad when talented people are sold out – I used to be a fan, but since last year there was a profound change to Nelly Furtado's Music – she became a Tart, and the songs became more commercial, and what I mean, is that she sounds the same as any other person on the radio, poppy nondescript, she lost her uniqueness, and I don't know what to think anymore...

29 Sep 2009

Cliff Richard and the 2 shadows on BBC Breakfast TV - Selling the new tour + CD - And how close and friendly they all are, even after all this time...

Vivian Westwood - on The One Show - BBC 1 - Crap Designer - Selling Bullshit fashion to pretentious idiots + some rain forest alliance guilt trip campaigning – nothing to do with trying to stay in the Limelight. I will however be trying her “Credit Crunch” solution to wear my Shirts back to front and dispense with my Pants, and just wear my Sweatshirt as pants instead... Wow, what a Genius... Talk about the Emperor's New Clothes.... And who said things don't improve with age...

22-23 Sep 2009

Michael Bolton - on BBC Breakfast TV - 80's Singer who needs cash – with a new album...

Pixie Lott - on BBC Breakfast TV -Selling new single “Cry me out” and Album - with the BBC Breakfast exclusive Video. And the exclusive Plug..

The Director Joe Wright - ob BBC Breakfast TV - Selling the new Movie - "The Soloist"

Ramblings...

Nothing to do with anything – but I keep seeing these Celebrities on TV with big (or bigger than usual) snouts -  nostrils – I've seen these people before, and I'm not sure whether this is a fashion statement – because they all seem to have the same white teeth as well, or is it something to do with white magic pixie dust that everybody seems to sniff at the moment....

Its official, there were no spongers between 17/09/09 and 22/09/09 - I couldn't be arsed watching TV..

16 Sep 2009

Felix Francis - BBC Breakfast TV - Selling New Book by him and his dad, Dick – even money - Good job there is no advertising on the BBC...

3 Old TV Presenters – Jenny Bond – Angela Rippon – and the Irish one – Gloria something or whoever.- New programme that needs viewers – Rip Off Britain - Another bullshit programme – that will not make a change, whatsoever...

And, in the mean time on Loose Women - ITV - we have Jamie Oliver – (Cook, Cock, whatever)... - Selling the new American Series and Book.... - The other appearances did not work as anticipated... - Including one on the Jonathan Ross Show, during my virus / sponger free period...

12 Sep 2009 / 15 Sep 2009

Barry Manillow - Doing the proms in London - BBC Breakfast - Need money for more plastic surgery... And you know, I can't smile without you, I can't smile without you....

Mark Knopfler - Ex. Dire Straits – New Solo Album Plug - “Get Lucky” - Need more money for nothing... - Mental Note. Avoid chatting bullshit..

11 Sep 2009 - The Big Idea..

Today is the Anniversary of  9/11 - I keep thinking this - Just Imagine that you've had a dream or a vision, you knew what was going to happen, before it did, but you didn't know when - waking up in the middle of the night in a cold pool of sweat, not able to breath, with the taste of Cement dust in your mouth and throat - Seeing everything before it happens, living the same nightmare over and over again, standing in the middle of all the destruction, feeling the .... Well, you get the idea...

You try to tell everyone, and to alert the authorities, but nobody is listening to you, some even think that you are slightly mad and very, very delusional...

And when it does happen, what are the consequences, what would happen to you, by the same people that dismissed you in the first place, the questions, the interrogations... Well, you get the idea...

I would love it for somebody, preferably a writer, someone who knows what they are doing, to either make a short story or script of this idea, and then we would try our luck on finding a producer.... When we do, who knows, the sky is the limit....

???

This is nothing to do with anything, but I heard a mention on TV – It might be true or not, but I'm glad that Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) is fighting for a cause so close to my and, apparently, her heart – Women's  Rights in Nepal... Something that does not make one iota of a difference to the world - and especially to the Women of Nepal - She just goes on TV, telling people about that and do nothing about it – something that sounds good and keep the publicity shy Ginger Spice in the public eye.... I had some numbers, but I'm not gonna bore you with these.Wrong is wrong, regardless of the numbers, but these people do it, not out of care, just out of need for being in the limelight...

10 Sep 2009

Gary Kemp Again - This time its on BBC Breakfast - Selling his new Autobiography and the much anticipated ,by others, return of the band (Spandu Ballet)...

2 People I Don't know who... - The producer and Animator of the new Pixar Movie.. - New CGI movie – how many balloons does it take to fly a TV set????

Merrill Streep on GMTV - Selling the new movie - Selling the new Movie – Julie and Julia - Need cash... This one is a stinker...

My Space Key - Just stopped Working...

09 Sep 2009

BBC Breakfast with:

Bob The Builder Creators - Selling the New Movie, the new road show, the new DVD, toys, underpants... - And  the new series..

Another Chef – I don't know his name.- Selling his new Cook Book – The Great British Grub - Another book I will not be buying...

Barbara Taylor Bradford - Selling the new Novel – Breaking the Rules.. - I want one for Xmas..- The same as her first, second, third, fourth,..... Novel(s) – a lot of shit... Plastic Surgery does not come cheap... And some of us need more than your average Novelist..

Gary Kemp on GMTV - From 80's Pop Sensation – Spandu Ballet - The new book – Maybe – and the new anticipated tour... The talent has no bound...

The original 70's Super Model on Loose Women - ITV – Selling her One Woman Show - A 70's Model – Needing more money for plastic...

08 Sep 2009

Kelly Osborne - On BBC Breakfast and ITV's This Morning - the same day - Plugging her new autobiography “FEAR”

Whose been a Busy Bee then. Well, she is 24 and you never know when you might “literally” snuff it in this line of work – especially when you are under so much pressure to do drugs and drugs and drugs and nothing else... Another talentless idiot, still cashing up on the name.. We know that she can't sing and I'm sure that this book would be the proof that even the most determined ghost writer, still can't make her look good... I will rush out now to buy a copy, if I don't, I might just have to wait for the Paperback or when they start selling that in the Dollar Bargain Store (Pound Shop)... Or I might even not bother....

04 Sep 2009

And now Ladies and Gentlemen -  Its Friday Night, and its time for the Jonathan Ross Show with :

Jamie Oliver – (Cook, Cock, whatever)... - Selling new book and TV program and the new restaurant...- We all have needs...

Stuart Broad – Cricketer - Selling the Ashes DVD 2009 - Filler – no one knows who he is, but we all need something to fill the void... We are getting ready for the future book and memoires deal.....

Ricky Gervais - The un-funniest person on TV – Selling the new movie – another unfunny effort...- Selling more shit... More of the same...

Mika - New Single – aimed at every Gay person in the world, with the effect of turning Straight Guys to not so Straight Gays... what a lot of shit... - We are Golden - Nobody is buying – spent the money I had, so I had to do this new piece of , BIG IN JAPAN, ....Art....

4 People – 4 Adverts – Why do I pay the BBC TV Licence Fees.

02 Sep 2009

Motty – Football Commentator - Selling his new Book on BBC Breakfast – 40 years in the box - but, why????

Oh, oh,,,

Managed to kill my laptop  I should not go anywhere within a ten mile radius of any PC, Laptop or any other electronic device... - my Job is out of the window... I wanted to change the Laptop Keyboard - so instead of having the perfectly working, Silver Keyboard, I was gonna use a Snazzy, Slick Black Keyboard, one that I've ordered from ebay - when trying to connect the new keyboard, I managed to snap the connector, clean off, from the motherboard - oh, bollocks.. Now for the Good News, Bad News Bit..

GOOD NEWS: The Laptop still works, but with an external USB keyboard the size of China,

BAD NEWS: Got a quote from somebody to fix it for £220.00, so I decided to use the External Keyboard instead, so it just has to look like shit

This is the second laptop that I managed to kill within 2 months - The First Laptop, I had to buy back from a Customer, to keep him happy - I used a hot Glue Gun instead of a Soldering Iron..

24 Aug 2009

Adam Sandler - Th One Show - BBC1 - Selling his new unfunny movie – funny people - Need all the help I can get after the last few flops...

18 Aug 2009

Today on BBC Breakfast :

Phillipa Gregory - New Novel – The White Queen - If there is one good reason why we shouldn't pay a licence fee – this was it – the longest advert in history...

Liz Jones - New Book – The Exmoor Files - Another 5 Minute advert telling us about the woman's book and how good it is to live the simple life.... Sadly, I still need more money for this simple life...

Less Dennis - a not so funny comedian - He is in  Disney Play – High School Musical 2 - Nobody told him that HSM is so last year, its Camp Rock time, so I've been told...

14 Aug 2009

I'm Back Again with a Vengeance - with Jerry Hall – Mick Jagger's Ex - on BBC Breakfast -In a West End Play – Calendar Girls - Need people 2 watch - Been on other TV programs begging for viewers – still nobody wants to watch... - Even though I promised to get naked, but still no takers...

No Spongers - Just a $2,000,000.00 Virus

Its official, there were no Spongers between the 6th-13th Aug 2009 - Instead, I got a nasty Virus on my network, it managed to delete everything and I nearly lost it all.... - Was happy to hear that Ealing Council (London) got the same Virus and they managed to spend around £500,000.00 ($1,000,000.00) to fix it – and they think the final bill could be over the £1,000,000.00 ($2,000,000.00) mark, considering all the parking tickets that they had to cancel and all the experts they hired to clean up the mess... And the funny thing is, they had the super hooper dooper anti-virus subscription – which still didn't work... I'm not gonna say who the anti-virus was by, or name and shame the company responsible, because I don't want to get sued, but they are big and they do sell a lot of copies and they are the ones that slow down your PC if you don't renew your Licence... I didn't spend that much to sort out my network, but the above news did make me laugh....

05 Aug 2009

David Yip - BBC Breakfast - The Legend of Kung Fu - New west end show – the trailer tells you everything, so you don't really need to watch it....

03 Aug 2009

Paula Wilcox - BBC Breakfast - New Play “Dreams...” - Need money to live – please watch me and buy the tickets. Damn it, I had to get up this early...


Sienna Miller - GMTV - G.I. Joe the Movie - Selling the new movie – you have to feel sorry for the woman, what was the last movie you've seen her in...

Gerard Butler - GMTV - Selling new Movie – The Ugly Truth - It must be bad if you have to sell it at nine O'clock in the morning..

31 Jul 2009

And today on BBC Breakfast- we have:

Jo Reese – whoever she is.. - Author – Selling her book “Platinum” - Very sneaky 5 minute advert, hidden in a pointless article about what we read on holiday...

Mark Beaumont - Cyclist – Making a documentary - Riding down across the Americas – not a bad FREE holiday, with a team of 16 people...

??? Director of Movie // Writer - I don't know the name and I don't care - Coco Before Chanel - I don't know who these people are – Selling Coco Chanel the movie – pretentious wrapped in crap..

Goldie - on GMTV - he's doing Last Night at the proms - Just a mention – he was on the missing period where I managed to lose my original file(s), trying to sell his appearance on BBC breakfast, because it's not cheap living with a Japanese conceptual artist and designer...

29 Jul 2009

Madness - on GMTV - 80's Pop sensation – sort of..- Still need people to buy the single, album, tour... not bad really, but still shit after all this time... It must be love, love, love....

Oh No...

Just lost my old file(s) – so, its official, there were no spongers between the 25-28 – I had to use a backup – I will remember to back up more often...

24 Jul 2009

Uri Geller - Selling the new program – me and Michael... on GMTV - Bending Spoons and Chewing Gum...

Jessie Wallace and Brian Whoever - on GMTV - selling the The Musical – Stepping Out - Need Viewers – Need Viewers – Ex Z-Lister Soap Actors – Trying to sell tickets their new venture... Life is hard... Life is very hard...

Bill Nighy - Selling new movie on GMTV - G-Force - in 3D - Wow, Hamsters...

Neil and Laura, 2 Actors who ever they are.. on BBC Breakfast TV - Selling new series on ITV – Monday Monday - .We need viewers – please... Don't want them to cancel us after the first season... Think of the Children...

Her Majesty - The Queen - She wasn't there in person on BBC Breakfast, but they were trying very hard to sell tickets to visit Buckingham Palace.. - It is a recession - and we all need cash – next time, I'll be on TV in person.., I promise...




Uri Geller - Again, this time on ITV's Early Evening News - Still Bending Spoons and Chewing Gum some more... With some tears for added effects..

I wonder who is on the Jonathan Ross Show tonight and what are they plugging:

The Dragons from Dragons Den - Need people 2 watch - It is credit crunch time - Shit, we had more people on BBC2 - Please, please, watch...

Denzil Washington - Selling new film - “the taking of pelham 123” - Good movies sell themselves, other movies need some hardcore help selling... and this one really does... We need new swimming pool to help our fellow man...

Quentin Tarentino - Selling His New Movie - "Inglorious Basterds"..

Aha – 80's pop band - Selling New Album and other stuff..

23 Jul 2009

Katie Price - AKA Jordan - Selling her NEW BOOK(s) on GMTV - She is a one woman printing machine – I don't know how she does it – she has a book out every 2 and a half weeks - just imagine what would happen if she did know how to read or write... As they say in Bolton. you can't cage a talent like that, personally, I say " get the bloody cage"...


19 Jul 2009 - 21 Jul 2009

Kanya West & Whoever - Selling new Single & Album - Chatty Man ? - Channel 4

On Same Prog - Fern Britain - Needs New Job - We have 2 do something – my this morning slot is at an end... please help me...

Fay something? I don't know who she is - Big in Japan, Actress selling her new cook book, teaching us how to cook for Kids - she has no kids - and had to rent cute kiddies for the photos...

Nick Ross - on BBC Breakfast - Selling us his New Crime Show - And why not?

Who's Next....

I often wonder whether they just have a big backroom behind these TV studios with queues of celebrities waiting their turn to sell their wares, or something to that effect.. But either way, I still think that they should pay for the blatant TV plugging - Its an advert, regardless of the name..
 
 

See Original Photo Here

17 Jul 2009

Spongers on BBC Breakfast

Steve whoever - As seen on TV new quiz show.. (Panel Show)... - We all need all the help we can get..

Dave Bowie's Son – whoever he is..- New Film – The Dark Side of the Moon - We do need all the help we can get..  All that talent – who said talent doesn't pass down generations... - I did – shame on me...

Curtis Stiger - Selling the BBC night at the proms.. - We have to bring it back to the masses...


Spongers on GMTV

A'ha - 80's Heart Throbs??  Pop Group... - Old singers have feelings too... and we've run out of money since...

Oneko Moneko??? - Selling new movie “Skin” - A film about apartheid in south Africa. - they know,  that not many people will be watching that...

Ricky Gervais - Oh no, the new movie - Another miracle not so funny movie – how long before somebody tells him that he is not funny at all... - The man seems to be making unfunny movies at the rate of one per month...

Shaheen - Kid from Britain got talent.. - Why is he not at school? Does he go to school? And how can you allow that to happen in this day and age?.

16 Jul 2009

BBC Breakfast guests for today are:

Melissa Warren - Selling her new book – "rescue me", a book about dogs and celebrities.. - I fail to see the difference... She used to work in a dog's kennel – now she is a writer?? - if you can't write, then have a cute picture on front of your book..

Hanif Kuraishi - Selling his new play / book – the black album - We all have mortgages to pay... - at the national theatre..

Harry Eastwood - Selling her new Cook Book – Cakes whatever - How to bake a cake with Vegetables in.. - I want one...

The Dynamic Duo – I don't know who they are - Selling the new album about Cricket... - Another million seller in the making..... - just keep your day jobs..

Lady Gaga on GMTV - Selling her new single - Because sometimes, weird is not enough – you need to sing and you need some talent as well...- however, something is lacking here...

15 Jul 2009

Dean Friedman - 70's singer needing money – see him on tour again..... - On BBC Breakfast - Gruntmaster 2000 at work again when the man does his sampler song..

Connie Fisher  & Michael Who? - Selling tickets for the new tour... - The hills are alive with the sound of music... with my hand on my heart, its really good... They're what you call BIG in Japan...

In The Hammer We Trust - Part I

For the past 5 or so years, the Gods of DIY have not been very kind to me, everything I touched or tried to repair turned into Shit (or a Disaster) - I wish one of these TV makeover shows would come and miraculously fix my house in 60 minutes or so, but sadly, no such luck.

Part of my comprehensive repair program was to replace the door handles, how hard could it be?.. Very bloody hard, [A}Because I'm useless,  [B] I haven't a Clue and [C] I use substandard Pound Shop (99 Cent Store) Tools that are made of Plasticine and Nougat.


I know that a bad worker always blames the tools, but believe me when I say, the problem is that I know I am bad, but the tools are just as bad. To cut a long story short, the door hasn't closed for 5 years solid.

Around 6 Months ago I managed to get the door to shut, by changing the lock mechanism with a spring loaded one, and through brute force and a lot of pushing, shoving, swearing and ingenuity (I couldn't believe it myself), I managed to do it. The handle was useless by the time I finished, you could turn that 360 degrees in either direction and you have to really push or pull the door forcefully in order to open or close it...

Words from our sponsors...

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Bolton, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; to the last TV in existence, we shall never surrender, so help me God.

Thank you God - Only 126 Entries before I get up to date... Life's Sweet...

14 Jul 2009

Michelle Collins ??? - Selling her new play – Deception - on BBC Breakfast TV - Yet another Z Lister trying to peddle the un-peddlable – and throwing in a hint that  she doesn't mind doing Desperate House Wives – The Operative word being “DESPERATE” - or CSI, she would do a good corps....

Valeryia - Selling her new Single & Album on BBC Breakfast – don't know why or where, and don't bloody care... - Apparently, she is the Russian Madonna – She is very Big in Russia... - that just makes me so happy and fuzzy inside...

And we are still with BBC Breakfast - Nick & Miranda, who ever they are? Peddling the new series of Coast..  or "How to have a holiday and get paid for it at the same time"...  There are usually 5 people watching the series – we need more than six... please...

And now, we turn over to Loose Women -and on show today:

Austin Healy??? - Selling his New Show – Fuse -No Viewers – Austin Who?

Red Headed Woman From Coronation Street (Fiz?) - Selling her new show and try to show us that she has some sort of a personality, that of a wet door mat - The show is a New take on a candid camera – we need ideas... - New program – not so funny – need viewers...

07 Jul 2009

Ethan Hawkes - Selling 2 plays – its something I wanna do, its a joy... - on GMTV this morning - Double the pleasure, double the fun... + plugs for 2 more movies as well... Fantastic... Just Bloody Fantastic...

Mr. Man on BBC Breakfast - I don't know who he is – selling Childrens brain washing behaviour book...


Ainsley Harriott - Selling his new cook book – 5 ingredients.. - The Wright Stuff - Channel 5 - He did have to stay there for an hour or so and try and be funny... That man would sell anything - I just need to look in the kitchen cupboard or any discount store, to see all the junk this man puts his name on... Just send me a Cheque and I will send you the same Happy Photo to sell your wares - who could forget the Biscuits and Tea Bags or the Rice and Cous Cous... - I don't believe it, I forgot to include Ainsley in the pole for man (sponger) of the year award..

This is the first Blog with a picture - please don't sue...

06 Jul 2009

The cast from Torchwood - Selling the new series on BBC Breakfast TV - its not easy – being a Z Lister in a bad TV program – we have been cheated Gov – 5 episodes instead of the usual 13 – what's next, no episodes... Not a bad idea,, hmmmmm...

Honor Blackman - Selling her new single at the tender age of 80+ - Never sang before, but then, the Grey Pound is the only sure thing during a recession... - Besides, who is going to pay for that Fabulous pair of  new designer shoes.. - "I can't sing a tune and I have no sense of rhythm" in her own words, so why should i buy it.
 ..

05 Jul 2009

Sacha Baron Cohen - on E4 - E4+1 - Selling the new movie – Bruno - Its so, not funny... looks better on the trailer... - I had no choice – if I didn't watch that, I would have missed the Simpsons...

04 Jul 2009

And Tonight on the Jonathan Ross Show (BBC 1), we have:

Sandra Bollock - Selling new movie..- She is the producer as well, its double jeopardy time... please watch it or else, I'll lose twice as much – think of the children...

Little Boots - Selling new single.. - Whoever she is??? - wow, that was a groovy banging tune... - nice legs, shame about the song...

Can't Touch This...

I couldn't be arsed watching TV for a week or so now, but how can you compete with the pimp of all spongers, the grand-daddy, the main man, the King of Spongers, Joe Jackson, who peddled his new record label while laughing, and talking about his dead son at the same time. Joe Jackson. We salute you – you have truly raised the bar, you are a true inspiration to all spongers out there... (happened between 29/Jun/09 and 04/Jul/09 - I'm still copying notes to my Blog)..

29 Jun 2009

Kenyan Boys Choir - On BBC Breakfast - Using the Echo Master 2000 - to sound good – someone forgot to turn it off after the singing so the presenters voice sounded very good....

Beverly Craven??? - Selling the one hit wonder single once again.. on Loose Women - ITV - I'm sure she is Big in Japan.

28 Jun 2009

Famous Cuban Ballet Dancer - See 18/06/09 - on the Andrew Marr TV Show - BBC - Still trying to sell those pesky tickets... And they said it was easy in Cuba...

26 Jun 2009

Michael Jackson is Dead - All spongers have become his best friends..- I can't be arsed watching TV today, too much bullshit about...

Today I heard the sad news of the sudden passing of a dear friend Mr. A from Bolton – I hope he is in a better place...

And Tonight on the Jonathan Ross Show, we have:

"Blue" the Band - Selling the new tour and god knows what else. - We need cash... please....

Iranian Comedian - Selling her new book - I don't know the woman, I'm sure she is BIG in Tehran...

Tim Henman - X Rubbish Tennis Player - Another hero loser – Selling bullshit...

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25 Jun 2009

David Walliams - New Little Britain Series - Trying to sell it on "This Morning" - ITV - Not Funny – Not Funny – Not Funny..

Alan Carr - Same Program - New Chatty Man Series – We all need to pay the bills somehow..

Explorer Dude – Benedict Allan?? - Selling the book...