My New Old Car - Grease is the word...

I had problems with my old car since I don't know when. I seem to have a different problem every couple of weeks, mechanical or otherwise, if its not the tyres, then its the rims, the bearings, the brakes, the timing belt, the windows, the exhaust, the engine, the shaft, the windscreen wipers, the whatever and whatever else...

The car was getting really old and very creaky.  It was due its yearly MOT  test the other week, and knowing the it would definitely fail this time, and that it would cost me an arm and a leg to keep it roadworthy for another year, I decided instead to scrap the beast and get a "newer" car...

As per usual, I searched through the classified ads on www.autotrader.co.uk and managed to narrow the search to 5 cars, within my budget...  I called the first, the second and the third choices, and, conveniently, these were just sold, today or yesterday, but miraculously,they managed to get other cars in, but this is twice the price of the advertised one... However, they will keep on advertising the nonexistent vehicles, in order to get more customers...

So my choice was reduced to 2. The first, was an exact replica of the car I'm disposing of, and my wife did not like. The second seemed to tick all the boxes. it was younger than the other car, or that's what I thought, less mileage than other car, or at least, that's what showing on the dials, and it looked clean and well cared for, or that's what I thought....

So I phoned the "PRIVATE" seller, and arranged for a test drive, the man agreed... We met the next day at the agreed time and location, the car seemed to drive well with no obvious problems... Everything on the car was really shiny and clean, including the upholstery and the engine. Its. just like somebody had stored that in a time capsule for the duration, awaiting my arrival... However, one thing was not accurate in the description, the car was as old as my original one, however, and because of the condition of the vehicle, I overlooked this little mishap... So we agreed a price, I paid the man and drove off into the sunset, well, Bolton ...

[Day 1] The car performed admirably, all day - everything seemed very tight and perfect - I had a few niggles with regards to the car design, but I thought I will get over these niggles for the simple reason that, beggars, can't be choosers, and the car was cheapish.

[Day 2] The car performed well on a 60 mile round trip - 2 niggles, the fumy oily smell and the 1/8th of an inch gap in the window that causes a loud shrieking noise when driving, at any speed on the motorway, so instead of going deaf, I opted for keeping the window open when driving fast.. .

[Day 3] The back wheel bearings seem to make a squeaky noise..

[Day 4] The 4 wheels seem to wobble like a supermarket trolley, in a very uncontrollable way... You just need to go over a bump, and the wheels seem to go all over the place, pulling the car left, right and center... And after the initial wobble over a bump, we now have the car toning and exercising our bottoms and thighs, by wobbling and shaking all the time... 

[Day 5] The brakes seem to work in mysterious ways. Sometime they work, and sometime they don't.. And also, there is a lake of black oil and Grease underneath the car.. The tyres are very slippy, I think it is something to do with the amount of Grease used in order to make the tyres look newish and in a better condition to what they are really are in.. 

[Day 6] Fumes and Carbon Monoxide seem to be filling the inside of the car, with real vengeance, so after10 minutes of driving, you will feel drowsy, dizzy and sick... Also, we have 3 light illuminating the interior, these are on all the time, the "Ignition Key" light, the "Battery Warning" light and the "Air Bag" light, the latter flashing all the time, a bit like a Christmas Tree, with the whole effect being a bit like a 70's Disco..

[Day 7] Today we have the "Check Engine" light on, all the time - and the rear wheel bearings have seized....

Now, what can I do? Absolutely nothing. The man has disappeared from the face of the earth, and I ended up with a lethal Lemon, that needs an arm and a leg to repair and to make road safe....

Here is a list of few niggles, some are specific to my car while others are a manufacturers design fault....

The Car designed by Orangutans for Orangutans. You need very long arms to get the key in to start the engine, and you really, really, need long arms in order to grab the seat belt . You can tell that nobody even tried to use the car during the design stage, or even to sit in the seat to see if its OK or not.

Wheels seem to have a mind of their own, they have what you call an independent unilateral movement, this is especially evident when you drive over a bit of uneven road (i.e. every road in the country), the wheels seem to flap in every direction with the car moving in a random direction that you have no control over, a bit like a 1 ton shopping trolley....

Brakes are made of Plasticine (Playdough) and you need to really keep your distance, as they operate to the 2001:Space Odyssey theme. DAAN, DAAN, DAAAN, DAAN, DAN, DA, DAN DAN DAAAAN,,,  Repeat twice, and the brake is on, just like that...

The windows, which are manual, are extremely hard to wind up or down (I think they forgot to put Grease on these, about the only place with no Grease).. The car seems to want to roll over every time you turn around a corner. And also, we seem to have an under steer and an over steer problem, all the time, at the same time... And to top it all up, the steering wheel does not return to its central resting point, when you turn, instead it will just keep on driving in that direction, i.e. towards a wall, some hapless pedestrians or a car, until you turn it, by hand, in the opposite direction...


I really thought that My Daewoo Lanos was bad, however, it did not know what bad was until I got my "Hyundai - Accent", now this is really bad.

Compared to this piece of junk, that have nothing to offer but problems, my original Daewoo - Lanos felt markedly "Superior"...  And to all the people who think that a Daewoo car is bad, or that it hasn't got a soul (including me, especially after this), I urge you to think again...Yes I admit it, I used to drive a Daewoo - Lanos, and now, I drive and even worst Hyundai - Accent...

 PS. In the interst of impartial reporting, here is a list of "Good Points":

[1] The car has a "Good Stereo", made by Panasonic and installed  by the previous owner...