The Devil's Box in The Corner...

Recession, what Recession - The devil's box in the corner telling us why we should buy another house, fix it, mix it, sell it, rent it and make lots of cash - then do the same once more,,, Again and again, till the Cows come home or the Shit hit the fan..

Everyone on TV was telling us how to make money by being savvy property developers, buying at auction, fixing, renting and adding to our portfolio, or selling for huge profit. I can name at least 10 TV shows that promised us that, complete with eternal health, wealth and happiness..

And by artificially stimulating demand, we managed to increase the value of property by so much, that people who need property, could no longer afford to buy or rent these...



And when it all hit the fan and things went so very, very bad , TV blamed others for the problems.. But shortly afterward, it started the cycle once again - showing us how to sell property in a recession..

Is there anything that devil's box can't do...


05 Nov 2009

Rory Brimner - On BBC Breakfast TV - Showing his emotional side, and talking about a new film to be shown on the BBC with regards to things he discovered about his father while making the program, Who Do You Think You Are, This film is sort of, a spin off.

Holly Johnson - (Frankie Goes To Hollywood) - Doing the rounds and selling the best of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, "Frankie Say Greatest" - I think he really needs the money, especially when you think of the amount of BOTOX this man uses - and his own new personal single, "dreams money can't buy" - I know this one will be very big...

Mr. New Tricks "Alan Something" - I don't know his name properly, selling a new Program " Garrow's Law".

06 Nov 2009

The Day after Bonfire Night - On BBC Breakfast Today - We have - Michael Winner - 70's / 80's Director - and Insurance Salesman - selling his new book, oh sorry, he was discussing his new book "Winners Dinners" - Ever since esure have dropped him in favor of a mouse, things haven't been the same - So please, please, please, buy the book...


Roger Taylor - From Queen - selling "Queen's - Absolute Greatest Hits" Album - I think they must have about 5 or 6 "Greatest Hits" albums by now... However, they do usually have a different Photo on the front cover and they have never ever called it "Absolute" - so this album must be different...

What is?

I keep hearing these terms, on Radio and TV - Guyliner, Chillax and some other new age shit.. What are they, what do they all mean... Well, fear not my middle age Chums, because help is at hand, so sit back and Chillax with your cup of latte and visit http://www.urbandictionary.com for all kind of different shit that nobody needs to know, or care about..

04 Nov 2009

The Family on BBC Breakfast Selling the new "The Family" Show on Channel 4..

Nora Jones on GM TV - Selling her new single - Chasing Pirates or there about - the girl just reminded me of Laura White- Too bloody slow...

This Morning - ITV - Sting - Selling his new Album and DVD - "If on a Winters Night".. Need some dough for some shaving foam. The songs were all made using traditional instruments (things that nobody has ever heard of), with a promise that they all will sound like shit...

We also have The Family Again, selling the new "The Family" TV show on This Morning..

03 Nov 2009

Anthony Horowitz - a TV writer - selling a new series, he's written - on ITV - Collision - and also plugging his new book - Alex Rider - something or other...

Director of "A Christmas Carol (3D)" - Robert Zemeckis - trying to sell his new movie - and talking about the new method of Cartoon making, "Performance Capture" - Need viewers please because otherwise, we will not be able to pay the rent or the money back to the Producers, and its too early for anybody else, more popular, to come and talk about it, so I have to do the dirty work...

I really don't care much for 3D movies, if its a good enough movie, it will find its way out, even if on toilet paper..

We also have Lawrence Dallaglio selling his Autobiography - RUGBY TALES - AKA - Blood, Sweat and Fear... I didn't watch much, because I don't care much for the man or what he has to say.. And also, Mr. James Ellroy - Selling his new Book "Blood's a Rover" - I didn't bother watching because they were showing a repeat of Frasier on Channel 4, so I decided to watch that instead..

And today on the Paul O'Grady Show - Channel 4 - We have Alexandra Burke, Selling her new Album and single and how the Song she sang was so dear and close to her heart, that she had to fight back the tears, you know what they say in Bolton, seeing that its so close to your heart, why not just keep it.. Apparently she now has another personality, Cheese Louise, I'm sure its nothing to do with the fact that Beyonce has the same thing "not the alter ego", which didn't seem to hurt her career..

We also have Richard Hammond (Top Gear), selling his old, new Autobiography again, I think - I couldn't be arsed watching the program in full, but I gathered that its a re-release of last years autobiography, but this time its hardback, or with a silly nose and mustache - I might be wrong here, but please don't sue..

And on the One Show tonight - BBC 1 - we have an Irish Comedian selling his new autobiography - I don't know his name, but I remember watching him on the Jonathan Ross show last Friday - There are so many titles out at the moment, these are more like annuals than autobiographies, and with so much choice out there, I really don't know what to buy, if any - I just can't wait to visit WHSmith.... Got the name, its Dara O Briain, and the book is called "Tickling the English"..

Sometime later, same day, and after visiting th WHSmith website. Bloody hell, even the Late Fred Dibnah has managed a new book "Did You Like That - In His Own Words". You can find that at all good bookshops,  I can't wait for the sales and plugging tour...

02 Nov 2009

Today on BBC Breakfast we have, a very short plug (less than 5 seconds) for a new Charity Single - Supporting "Help For Heroes" - they said its performed by a host of Celebrities, and they showed a video snippet with all these Celebrities singing, and honestly, I didn't know any of them and I bet no one else would know who they were...  Even though the cause is noble, I don't think these Z listers on the BBC would help further it..

Also on BBC Breakfast, we have  Laura White - From Last Year's X Factor, selling her new Single and Album - I know it was early, but the girl just sounded so very special, somehow. You ask her something and you wait, and wait, and wait, and wait and then wait some more, then, a giggle followed by some incomprehensible babble..
 

We also have 2 people from the "Digital Theater" troupe - A new Digital Experience - an Internet Only Theater, for people on the go, you pay once and watch the Play forever (around 2 more weeks, if you are lucky) - As per usual, the, patronising, presenters thought it was a very good idea - but I know for a fact that they will never, ever, ever, order one of these Plays. The good news however is, the Theater is very big in the Cayman Islands... They've got a customer there.

I can't watch any more TV for now - I have to be somewhere else - so I get in the car, turn the Radio on, and drive - My Car's Radio is a bit shit (so is My Car, but that's another story) - I can only listen to 1 station, badly, because all  the buttons on the Front Panel are not working, and when I say "Not Working", I mean really "Not Working" - you have to push the "Anti-Theft" front panel in, at a certain angle, twist, turn, pull, push, bang, bash, swear and twist again, and 5 minutes later, as if by magic, the Radio is ON - however, no other buttons will work, not the power, not the volume, not anything else. The thing is, I don't even know why they bothered about an "Anti-Theft" device, the damned Stereo has a bloody Cassette Tape Player, Yes, a Cassette Player, something that was top of the range in 1974 (I don't think anybody has seen or made one of these in over ten years) - As well as being a very crappy stereo and sounding tinny, it still managed, as a final act of defiance / vengeance, to eat my "Best of Barry White Tape" during a long trip to Bristol, so to cut a long story short, you drive, listen and hope for the best. The station the Radio is stuck on happened to be BBC Radio 1 - and to add insult to injury, the reception is really, really bad, this is because the Aerial was snapped 2 years earlier, when the car was being washed, inside one of those huge Car Wash machines, the one with massive rollers - I forgot to lower the Aerial and the Machine just snapped it off and spat it out...

Back to the story, I turned the Radio on and started driving, and who do I hear on the Radio, we have Jimmy Carr - the Annoying, Make-Up wearing (apparently, it called Guyliner or or something like that), and not So Funny (in my book) so called Comedian. Selling his new DVD. Last week, the same Jimmy Carr was in our bad books because of a very insensitive joke, about disabled troops.. Today, he is our darling hero, selling his new DVD, with the Sun shining from his @#$£...

We also have, on BBC Radio 1, David Walliams (not so funny comedian, Ex. Little Britain Fame) selling his new Children's Book - I'm sure he will, shortly, be doing the rounds on TV.. - I remember my daughter buying his previous Children's Book from the local Pound Shop - I'm sure this one will only be sold in top notch, bona fide, book shops (well, at least for the next couple of months), and then, no doubt,  it will find its rightful place among other greats...

I'm back - and on BBC Working Lunch, we have a 10 Minute advert for "JoJo Maman Bebe" about their Shops, Catalogue and Internet Business, what they sell and how good their stuff is, and how you will not be complete until you get something from there.. I even wanted to buy something from them, and I still don't know why... A case of the undeserving, giving the undeserved some free publicity. I really want to know, how to advertise for FREE on the BBC, who do I need to see, know, contact, befriend or sleep with... Life is very hard outside this Club, in the real world...

On Loose Women - ITV - We have Laura White again, doing her rounds - selling the new single and album - I can't bare watching that women again, If I do, I'm sure the interview would dumbin me..

There is also somebody else, his name is Martin, I think - trying to sell tickets to the Little Voice show - they are really trying hard, but still there is nobody watching - the problem is, they should have the show in the Cayman Islands instead of London...