Pakistan cricketers in betting scandal leave squad for London crisis summit as officials make three arrests

• Customs officers make three further arrests
• Ex-girlfriend claims bowler told her of match-fixing
• ICC promises 'prompt and decisive action'

Three cricketers accused of involvement in a suspected betting scam will travel to London tomorrow to meet Pakistan officials in the wake of match-fixing allegations.

Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) chairman Ijaz Butt and the country's high commissioner will talk to Test captain Salman Butt and bowlers Mohammad Aamer and Mohammad Asif, their team manager announced today.

I don't know what all the fuss is about. I think people should be glad, because what other way do England have to win at anything...

be glad of life,

because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars; to be satisfied with your possessions; to despise nothing in the world except falsehood and meanness, and to fear nothing except cowardice; to be governed by your admirations rather than your disgusts; to covet nothing that is your neighbor's except his kindness of heart and gentleness of manners; to think seldom of your enemies, often of your friends... and to spend as much time as you can, with body and with spirit. these are little guideposts on the footpath to peace.

(henry van dyke)

Socialite arrested on cocaine possession charges..

Socialite Paris Hilton has been arrested on cocaine possession charges after police stopped the car she was in on a Las Vegas street, authorities said.

Hilton was booked into the Clark County Detention Centre on a charge of possession of cocaine, Las Vegas police spokesman Marcus Martin said. Hilton, 29, was in a car driven by a friend which was stopped when officers noticed what they suspected to be marijuana smoke coming from it, he said.

This is usually a no story, however, the sad thing is - the woman is still a role model for all these young girls, and, no doubt, the media, will worship this nobody and shower her with respect and money. I will just look forward to being her new BBF ..

You can't take it with you...

We all heard about the floods in Pakistan and the effect these are having on the poorest and weakest. I just watched a TV Dragon showing us how generous one can be, Mr. James Caan. The man is worth £70 Million Pounds, yet he goes to Pakistan with £15,000 worth of aid (with a Press Corps to film his every move), to help some of the effected people. I know that every little does help, but, on this occasion I feel that the man was there for a photo op, nothing more, nothing less.

Later on, there was another program about a man who was found dead in his flat, with no apparent next of kin. The Council were debating whether they can give him a decent burial or not, and they did not know whether he can afford it. Upon inspection, they found bundles of money all hidden in carrier bags, around the house. As well as a huge collection of rare toys, in mint condition..

And in spite of the find, they just cremated the man and sprinkled the ashes on his late Wife's grave..

So the moral of the story is, "You can't take it with you, so why not do something amazing with it while you can, something good or deserving. Then sit back, and watch the results"... Remember, its good to be good...

PS. You can just have a "Will" with a deserving beneficiary, if you don't want to see the result..

Windows XP

Windows XP is still my OS of choice, however, there are a few niggles that that I really hate: Say if I connect a certain peripheral via USB, then I remove that and plug it into a different USB slot, Windows XP does not recognise the device, and it asks for the driver CD again, and it would not give up until you plug the device into the same USB slot, or re-install the driver.

When you first install XP, its Network support is very flaky, and even though the drivers are correctly installed, and it shows that there is a connection, but trying to connect to an always on Broadband connection is almost always results in failure with an IP address conflict or Windows unable to acquire network address. I usually  install an external Wireless Network Card (USB), connect to my network and download the latest patches - these usually fix everything.

Something else, and this is endemic in all versions of Windows, say you try to copy a few hundred files across from one place to another, and Windows encounter's a problem, half way through, it will just stop, leaving you in limbo, instead of copying the files with no problem, while ignoring others... 

RAMADAN

Ramadan is upon us once again, the pious are all out of the woodwork, in force, telling us what to do, and how to do it... Me, I'm a Muslim by birth, a Humanist by nature, and an Atheist by design. I don't believe in anything, apart from Karma (and Korma), but I know that there is something out there, a master plan, a cosmic balance or a higher power of some sort. I know that, because I have felt it working, whenever I needed help.

I don't know what it is or how it work, but I refuse to believe in a Supreme Being, a Father or a Creator, for the simple reason; "How can a father torture his children, or let bad things happen to them? Unless he is an unfit parent"...

Regardless, and because of the above, I decided, long ago, to follow my own simple set of values and beliefs. They might not be perfect, but they have served me well thus far...

[1] Don't lie, cheat or steal (unless its to a Bank)...
[2] Treat others like you would like to be treated...
[3] Trust all, till they prove you wrong...
[4] Do no harm..

Either way, and coming back to the story. these same pious people seem to be shocked and horrified when I tell them what I think, why I don't believe, why I don't pray and why I don't fast. But they still buy my software, because they like cheating the tax man...

I hate my customers...

I finally managed to take the Famous PC to my customer, I set everything up (plug it together) and leave it at that. The rest is history, or at least this is what I thought.

The man installs his Pirated Copy of Adobe CS5, and checks the speed. He seemed happy with the performance (I can see it in his eyes), but at the same time, grumbling all the time about how his other computer is better and faster, and how his other monitor, is calibrated to perfection, and it is much better and badder, (even though I bought the man the best monitor money can buy, with a really good picture, if I say so myself). I'm used to customers saying these things, its a ploy to get some sort of discount, so I just ignore them and if they insist, I just take the machine and go (and add them to my ignore list, on the mobile phone), .

Two days later, all is well, so I presumed. The man rings me and tells me that his Windows 7 is not working, why, what has happened? Nothing, it's just not working... I said you can restore everything just by pressing the F11 key on reboot, the man said he is doing it but nothing is working... So a short trip to Rochdale and half an hour later, I get what the man means by not working. The computer was on, everything is working properly, apart from photo & image thumbnail previews - these have all been replaced with a Photoshop Icon PS instead, something to do with him installing the latter and selecting it as the default viewer. So I go to the Folder Options and change the settings from there.

I was really fuming. The Bastard had made me go all that way, to do something, which has nothing to do with me, something that we could have sorted over the telephone, within 2 minutes... Just imagine him ringing Microsoft or Compaq and telling that, and just see what happens... I tell him off and leave...

An hour later, the man rings me and tells me that his FTP is not working, WTF, I know what FTP is, but I really doubt whether the man knows what it means, and even if he does, what has this got to do with me. What a bastard, I told him to ring Compaq, because they supplied the PC and let them sort it out for him.. Shortly afterward I put his number in my ignore forever list...  Another satisfied customer...

I can feel it in the air tonight...

Tonight, while watching TV, I heard Police Sirens, saw Flashing Blue Lights and commotion through the window.

Apparently an immigrant worker, has been killed in the house he shared with his friends, just a few hundred yards  from where I live.

I really hate it when things like that happen, its like losing some of one's humanity just by knowing. I felt very sad for that person and his family, even though, I've never seen or met the man. All I know is, he came to the UK for a better life...

Later that night, I could swear that I heard the wind weeping outside my window...

Friday the 13th - Part II

It might be unlucky for some, but not for me. Today, I've become a Granddad for the second time.

Beautiful, Isabelle...

And my first,

Beautiful, Jade...

When does No actually mean Yes?

When it comes to PC hardware and software I usually buy my stuff from eBuyer.com or Scan.co.uk, never from a smallish local company, and definitely never from PC World / Dixons / Currys and the like. But sadly, and as they say, there is always an exception to the rules, and today was the exception.

The story goes like this. A few weeks ago I quoted a price to somebody for a new system. The man said he is going on holiday, and when he is back, he will contact me. I did not think that I've got the job, oh well, some you win, some you lose, and thought nothing of it..

Yesterday, the man rings me, asking me for his new system. Oh shit, I really had nothing to show, so I thought I will just browse the internet for something suitable, preferably, already built and on the shelf. So I head towards PC World,  have a look what they have and order it for collection. So I did, and the PC was a shiny HP Compaq PC, and the only thing left, was collecting and paying for it.

So I print the: confirmation email, head toward the local PC World outlet, walk in, check on the shelf for stock availability, meet a sales rep, give him the printout. He asks me to wait, he walks over to another representative, whispers something in his ears, and they both start walking towards me.

Sales Rep 1 - Hi, this is John, he will look after you.

Me - Thank you.
Sales Rep 2 - I believe you are after the Compaq.
Me - Yes.
Sales Rep 2 - Do you know if we have any of these in - I don't think we have any left of these..
Me - I've seen 2 of these on the shelf, and it said that you had 2 in stock on the net.
Sales Re 2 - Have you seen the PC..
 Me - Yes, on display over there.
Sales Rep 2 - What about the monitor, it's not that good.
Me - I know, that's why I bought a 24" Monitor to use instead of the one supplied.
Sales Rep - From here?
Me - No, Scan...
Sales Rep 2 - What is the PC gonna be used for.
Me - I don't really know or care, its for a customer - I know they will be surfing the net and doing some DTP.
Sales Rep 2: - Well, you know that this PC has Windows 7 Home Premium.
Me - Yes.
Sales Rep 2 - I don't think this machine is suitable for what you need it for - As Windows 7 will slow it down,  and it will not be able to handle your programs until you upgrade the machine again,
Me - As I mentioned, the PC is not for me, and I don't really care whether it's fast or slow, and if it is so slow and bad, then why are you selling it...
Sales Rep 2 - No its not bad, its just not suitable for DTP
Me - If it did slow down, I can always replace the OS with a copy of Windows XP, now that will speed it up.
Sales Rep 2 - We do have an offer today for a very fast machine, you don't need to upgrade that and it will not slow down - and if you get this today, you will save over £400 on the price.
Me - So what OS does it have?
Sales Rep 2 - Windows 7 Home Premium.
Me - Exactly the same as the other Machine then,
Sales Rep 2 - Yes, but the machine has more Cores and more Ram.
Me - As I said, the machine is not really for me, and I don't really care...
Sales Rep 2 -  What will you do your DTP with, is it like MS Office, we are doing a special offer on that..
Me - No thank you, the customer will decide what to use or install.
Sales Rep 2 - What about security, you can have a copy of Norton 360, now that will really stop all those nasties & viruses.
Me - No thank you, there is no need for this, I will install a free anti-virus ...
Sales Rep 2 - I will just go and get your machine sir.
Me - Thank you...

This conversation went on and on and on for around 20 minutes, before the man would let me have the PC that I have ordered. I still don't know why I wasted so much time arguing with the Salesman about the suitability of a machine.. Besides, what has it got to do with him, and what or why I'm buying...

I know they need to maximize sales and profit, but the bottom line is this: I will not be buying anything from PC-World "EVER AGAIN"...

Bolton Inflation Rate

Why has the Parking Charge, on Bolton Market, increased by a staggering %250 within a matter of weeks. From 0.40p to £1.00 per hour. I know that it's not much to pay, however, if every business decided to increase prices by %250, then there will be no business or customers... And the only reason they are allowed to do that, is because they can.

How do they know...

Everyday I seem to get more and more Spoof Emails from every bank in the UK.... I don't usually bother about these, I just ignore all, but this time it's a little bit different. I just got a new email account with hotmail, and within 5 minutes, I started getting these spam and spoof emails, even before I had the chance to give that address to anybody else....

So, does that mean that hotmail are somehow selling these email lists to others. Because, come to think of it, how do they make any money, if not through something like that...

 

 Never been within a 5 miles radius of any of the above banks (apart from HSBC & Lloyds TSB)
Some attempts are obviously much better than others.... 

I can't even use my Face 2 Face, my Telephone, or my Internet Banking. Nor can I use my Credit Cards (with Lloyds TSB - they still need to see a proof of my ID), yet, somebody has managed to use my Unactivated Credit Card to buy some Books and Coffee, in Darkest Peru... And when I ring the bank to ask them how did that happen, they say its because I have not used the Credit Card, which makes it more susceptible to fraudulent use (I still don't get that one - but as they say in Bolton, there is Bullshit and there is Bullshit, and that was some Bullshit., ) ...

One strike and you're out..

This is a 2 prong attack, firstly at my new, old car, which is trying to kill me, at every turn, and the second is at people responsible for Roads and Traffic Management within Bolton Council...

I really hate my new, old,  car. It not only has many mechanical problems and faults, but it is very unforgiven, and even downright dangerous when driven. You have to have total and utter concentration, 100% no less, otherwise, it will just snap back, steer in a random direction, and kill you (just keep your eyes on the road and hands firmly on the steering wheel, any deviation and you're dead)... The only redeeming feature is that the car does not have much power, otherwise, I would have been dead on day one.

The second gripe is with Bolton Council's Highway Department. They seem to have a very weird sense of Traffic Management, which entails, blocking every short cut, back street, side road and access point to a main road (bar one), which in effect creates more congestion on main roads, because nobody can drive through other routes or take a shortcut, and to make matters worst, they add Traffic Management controls to main roads (narrowing the lanes, putting traffic islands in the middle of narrowed roads, and having monstrous speed bumps in the middle of those, which creates even more congestion on busy routes (see rough sketch, I hope it explains better)...

Imagine trying to get from A to B, instead of cutting through some side streets, you have to drive on the main road, manoeuvrings some monster speed bumps,  followed by narrowed lanes with traffic islands stuck right in the middle.. So instead of reducing congestion, they managed to make the roads even more congested, no wonder why they wanted us to "Vote Yes" for the "Manchester Wide" Congestion Charge..

Just make everybody's life a living hell, then tell them, "Because there are more cars, we need to charge you more money, which we will use on everything else"...

Regardless, the reason for this rant is that I nearly killed myself driving today - thanks to traffic management and narrowed lanes (between Bolton & Westhoughton), and its all because I momentarily glanced at Superman jogging (yeah, it was Superman, and he was the real deal, sort of), because some idiot at the Council decided that the best way to help the flow of traffic, especially during peak hours, is to narrow the main road, and because of that, I managed to hit the side of the car on the narrowed edge of the road.. What a bummer...

Why make something So, So, So BAD - I hate shaving..

At the best of times, I really, really hate shaving - Being a bit on the hairy side, its always fairly painful to shave. I hate the facial rash afterward, the itchiness, the cuts, the bleeding, the Aftershave Burn and a few other side effects and niggles. And because of that, I try to limit the shaving to once a week (when lucky) or when the itchiness is unbearable, if I leave it any longer, I usually end up looking like a homeless bum.

The other week, I was shopping when I saw these "4 Blade Bad Boy" disposable razor blades. They seem to be a lot cheaper than the "Branded" ones, and me being a cheap skate, decided to try these.

Today, I needed to have a shave (my face is really itchy) - so I decided to use the new blades. I wish I did not. Half way through, I looked like I was mauled and scratched by fifty angry tigers, and each time I put the blade on my face, I had another cut. On close inspection I noticed that one of the blades had actually snapped and that was the reason behind the pain (snaps below).

 

Handsome me. If you look closely, you can see the outline of the Magnificent 70's Porno Mustache that I proudly wear..

Cheap, Chinese Shit - with Snapped Blade

So the moral of the story is this. Why not make the thing out of better materials and charge a little bit more for it, instead of making it out of total shit, at least that way, you might be able to keep customers longer than 1 blade, or half a shave.

Funny Adverts...

From writing the previous blog and the mention of Harmar Superstar, I remembered a few funny  adverts, that I don't wanna forget. I'm just gonna have a link to these:

Please watch the Series on Youtube - Very Stupid & Funny

Honest Guv, it was Phil, yeah, Phil Mitchell...

Today, I needed to visit the Bank to deposit some money, lately, the Business has been struggling a bit, and I needed to pay a few bills. I usually park on the side of the Bank building, my wife jumps out of the car, goes to the Bank, do whatever, while I suspiciously circle the narrow streets around the block, I do this to avoid parking tickets and fines, 3 times round the block would usually do the trick..

Today, it was a little bit different, I parked, my wife jumped out of the car and I drove off. A WIDE Black Car with Tinted Windows, was coming from the opposite direction, and managed to block the narrow street.  I could not reverse, because behind me was another WIDE, Black Car with Tinted Windows, this has just turned in from the main road.. I noticed both the driver and the, front seat, passenger of the first WIDE Black Car, and I could swear that it was Phil Mitchel of Eastenders, with his Brother, the other Mitchell (Goerge or whatever Mitchell). And I could sense that they were not very pleased with me, for blocking their way....

Meanwhile, still stuck, I looked in the mirror and noticed that the second WIDE Black Car, was also driven by a Phil Mitchell clone, with the passenger looking a bit like Harmar Superstar, a 70's Porno Movie Star with a fine mustache... Three people jumped out of the second car, two more Phil Mitchell clones plus the man with the fine mustache, and headed toward the Bank.. The Driver remained in the car.

During that time, both myself and the driver of the first WIDE Black Car were trying to pass each other, somehow (if he only moves a little bit to the bloody left, we would both have enough room, but then, you don't want to argue with Phil Mitchell)...

Suddenly, I hear Fire Engine Sirens in the background, and see these, speeding, in the mirror. I also noticed that my wife was on her way back to the car from the Bank... With a little bit of wall scraping, I managed to free the Vehicle, and wait for my wife get in...

The first thing my wife said was that something was up, there are a few people, Phil Mitchell lookalikes, in that bank that are out of place, and at least one of them had a Baseball Bat hidden about his person. And that when the receptionist asked whether she can help him, he said no, he is waiting for somebody (no doubt, another Phil Mitchell clone)..

We, clandestinely, took the Car Registration Numbers, drove off, and called it a day... I still don't know what had happened after all that, and whether it was all just a big misunderstanding, a coincidence, or just an over active imagination. Regardless, I feel, somehow, that by blocking the first Car, I managed to foil something, without even trying (probably prevented Phil Mitchell from depositing his Pay Cheque)... Bat Man, eat your heart out...

We are "the Champions" my friend..

I think Sky TV is taking over my life, I'm watching shit all the time. I really can't believe they've made it, and somebody somewhere paid for it to be made. Below, a fine example:

Yeti : Curse of the Snow Demon

This morning, I was "Channel Hopping", and I happen to get to ITV 3 or 4. they were playing "The Champions", a 60's Super Spy, Action, Adventure effort. with the leads mastering strange and super human powers.   

Dude : Where is my Handbag

My eyes, my beautiful eyes.

Just watched that on BBC 3 - Had to share - So funny.

the Gospel Channel - Sky 590 - Live from Iceland

Give money to the Channel, half, will be kept by the Channel (GOD) and the other half will be used to buy GOLD (GOD's currency) and within 2 years, you will have your money back, because of the way the price of GOLD is increasing... (I will try and find a video and a link, very funny - Greed and the Devil's work, done by the Gospel Channel, Hallelujah)...

I can't help thinking that man leading the appeal is a, slick, ex-Icelandic Bank Manager, who lost his job when all the Icelandic Banks collapsed.  Now he does GOD's work on the Gospel Channel, and tries to convince us of how good it is to give, give, give... And by doing it this way, you will be following Jesus instructions to the letter, 2 good deeds in 1 go, helping the Channel & providing for your future and that of your family....

I'm Sold, where do I sign.......  I still need a video... Please help...

The Superman Diet...

I think I need to lay off GOD's Cookies for a while. My pants don't fit anymore, zips are busting left, right and center. It's getting too painful to fasten those buttons. I think my waist has expanded by 4" since I got hooked on these cylinders of deliciousness.. I never weigh myself, but I think I have put on a bit of weight as well... GOD help ASDA...

How to lose a customer, and do I care..

This is one of those stories about customer service. Something that I'm renowned for and pride myself of, until the customer piss me off or prove me wrong....

I've had a customer in City Center Manchester for over 5 years. Using the same software, and never having a problem with anything, everything was going well until a couple of weeks ago when their PC started acting up, my software started randomly crashing, in weird and wonderful places, it was unable to write to the Hard Drive or update the database.

The man phoned me, I went there after 9:00PM, I checked the PC, and it was playing up with every other bit of software, one of the main reasons was his new anti virus software, it prevented anything from writing to the HD unless you set permissions in advance, so I changed the settings and the problem was solved. I got paid and walked away. Because of the time it took to solve the problem, I felt bad about charging the man too much, so I just charged him for the travel, and believe me when I say, I made absolutely no money out of the job..

The next day, I get a phone call from the man again, the PC is not working. I go back to the shop, the PC is working, but erratically, it works, but you know that there is something not quite right. I opened the case and noticed some fried capacitors on the motherboard, so I showed the man and told him, the best solution is to get a replacement PC, especially when you consider that this PC is over 10 years old.  He asked how much, I gave him a price, and he said he will ask his brother to build him one, because he has his own PC shop, I said OK, ring me when you are ready and we will transfer everything for you (this visit was free).

A couple of days later, the man rings me, he has a new PC. He ask me to go there before the shop opens at 4:00PM and try and sort everything out, ready for the day ahead, I agree.

I hate shops in town centers, there is no parking and I always seem ro get a ticket. I ring the man and get there at 2:30PM, I illegally park down a side ally, walk to the shop and wait, and wait, and wait. I ring the man, he is bloody late, 30 minutes later, he gets there and I get in, setup the new, old,  PC (as supplied by his brother) and copy everything across. The PC works, so I leave the shop and go back to the car (this visit was free), but I ended up with a £35.00 fine parking illegally..

2 Days later, the man rings me and tells me that his new PC has stopped working. I told him that "This has nothing to do with me, and that if would just buy a new PC from somewhere, he would not have any of these problems. I also mentioned the parking fine, which he kindly offered to pay - I gave him the number and thanked him...

A week later, he rings me again. His brother has managed to make him another PC, so can I go and sort it out for him. I agree, and go. This time, the PC would not even boot. So I told the man that I have wasted enough time. I will just have to go until he gets a working PC (this visit was free).

A few days later,  the man rings me to tell me that he has a new PC and that if I go to his shop, he will pay my Parking Fine. What a BASTARD, I thought that he had paid that a week earlier, instead he kept it for leverage. What a BASTARD, I said OK. Don't worry, I will ring you back in a minute and tell you what I will do.

So, whilst still fuming at the BASTARD, I phoned the Manchester Council Ticket Hotline, I pay £70.00 because the BASTARD did not pay my original £35.00 fine. And then I ring him and give him a piece of my mind.. I told him that, I have paid double the fine thanks to him, I have managed to waste so much time pissing about with crappy second hand computers, and then he has the cheeks to tell me that he will pay the fine if I go there. Well, here is what I think, you can save your money by sticking where the Sun doesn't shine. I will never, ever, ever, ever visit your shop, talk to or deal with you, for all the tea in China, and regardless of what you offer - this was a bad job, and I will make sure that I will not repeat it again any time in the future..

I love my Nokia mobile phone, it has an option to screen calls, so his number went with the rest of the sad BASTARDS, others call customers.