15 Oct 2009

Today on BBC Breakfast TV, we have - Sir Ranulph Fiennes- Selling his new book
- "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" - Available at all good, and not so good, Bookstores.

A book about his family, and the terrible things they had to endure during the centuries - and how many Butts they had lick to get where they are - (should have called it "Spongers through the ages, My Family"), and also how hard it is to keep a Castle going, Life's Hard. This goes to show that, regardless of background, Money Talks and Bullshit Walks, or in this case sits on the BBC Breakfast Couch...

Next, we have the most Awkward interview in the history of time - 2 unfunny presenters not getting anything, and pretending to understand everything - With jokes flying all over, and a laggy response time from those same, Animated, Robotic, BBC presenters - This was during an embarrassing interview with Jason Bateman and Malin Akerman (who are under strict instructions to Sell, Sell, Sell) - this years biggest flop, their new "Big in Japan" Movie - "Couples Retreat".. I'm sure that lots of BBC Breakfast viewers, with the average age of 95, will be going to the cinema to watch that.... (I got the names from the IMDB website)...

Those same viewers will be buying our next guest's new Album and Single - "Bad Boys" - Alexandra Burke, one of Simon Cowell's many minions, and Last Year's X-Factor Winner is with us here today - selling her new stuff, while staying level headed and keeping her feet firmly on the ground - in those Killer Heels, you've got to be joking... 

In the meantime, on the other Channel - GM TV - we have - somebody selling a new program on BBC 3 - the World's Strictest Family or some bullshit like that about spoilt prats, that need a good kick up the....

We also have 2 washed out, ex. soap opera, loser actors trying to sell an all new, internet only production, soap opera, series, drama, whatever you want to call it - "Girl No. 9" - probably, by the time anybody watches that, the link will refer to a porno website... They were so uncomfortable with the idea and concept, that you couldn't help but feel sorry for them - I know what I will not  be watching... (I didn't get the names, and I don't care, but they used to be on TV,  honest - yeah I know what you are thinking and I agree, the standards are lacks in the UK)....

And guess who's been a busy boy then - it's Sir. Ranulph Fiennes - selling his Book again, this time on "This Morning" - ITV - Well, Old Chap - Another one for the team - Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it... 

Also on This Morning, we have a plug for the new movie "The Fantastic Mr Fox" - with George Clooney - I'm sure its gonna be good...

And today on Loose Women - ITV - We have - Charles Collingwood - Somebody from the “Archers” – Selling his new Book again “Brian and ME” - He is trying very hard - last time it was on BBC Breakfast TV..

Also, we have Loose Women Flogging their new Book - "Here Come The Girls" - on Loose women - I'm confused...

A woman comedian - who is not that funny, selling her new tour - I don't know her name - but she does the advert for too much salt in food- "Full Of It" - and now we know what she is full of...

And tonight on the Paul O'Grady Show - We have no Paul O'Grady - He's off somewhere, no doubt writing a new Book and the third installment of his autobiography, I look forward to that... And while the main man is away, life still goes on - So we have Arlene Philips selling the new show "So You Think You Can Dance" - I don't know who the women is but I think she was a judge on some dance show, and she got replaced by another...

The One Show - BBC1 - Jimmy Osmond - Selling the New Osmond, Leo Sayer and Bay City Rollers - Tour... Three Crappy 70's Acts - Doing The Super Crappy 70's Revival Tour...