The root of all evil - Infomercials

Picture this, I'm in total agony with my leg, I can't go to bed nor sleep, so I just sit and watch TV all day and night, I really should have more time for blogging but the pain receptacles seem to interfere and play havoc with all my other senses and faculties. I just can't think straight. During the day, there are all these Spongers selling their wares, which I usually do a good job of filtering out... However, and late at night, when you are all alone, and your brain can filter no more, infomercials begin...

One of the easiest things for me, when watching TV, is avoid buying advertised shit. I usually smell that miles away, but sadly, every now and then something does slip through the cracks. Things like, the Wash Balls, the Dryer Balls, the Fridge Balls, the Laundry Balls, and other classics. You would have thought that having Balls in the product title would have the given the game away, but oh no, not for me...



To cut a long story short, and after the many failures, and Balls ups, I decided  not to buy anything with balls in the title. The other week, I saw the "Slap Chop" infomercials, and I don't know whether it was the product or the man's infectious enthusiasm, or just the urge to super chop everything to a messy, mushy, pulp. I just had to have me one of these...

 Would you buy anything from this man?

So I ordered one, and in 14-21 days, I was the proud owner of a "Slap Chop". The worst invention on the face of the planet, it is really, really, really just shit. Some people might like it, but I just couldn't use it or like it, it seems to pulverise everything.that is harder than a boiled egg whilst obliterating anything that is softer, and after using it for 5 minutes, I realised the error of my ways, and decided to just leave it on show, to remind me not to buy, believe, or listen to anything or anyone on TV. And as for the free "Grater", well, I did use that once and guess what, it does work as long as you have the arms of Hercules, if not, then you are limited to grating Goat's cheese and Jelly ..

And now for some good news, the face of the "Slap Chop" has been arrested in the US for selling the world's worst invention (it should have been), or something like that... I hope he appreciates being "Bitch Slapped" in the showers. Who said Karma hasn't got a twisted sense of humor...