The pain of it all... Part II

I really, really can’t stand the pain any longer – Today, and after 2 weeks of being a Macho Man and hoping that the pain, somehow, subsides, I decided to go and see my Doctor..

I put half a ton of “Heat Rub” on the leg, swallowed, my pride and, a couple of Painkillers and I was good to go…  I managed to get to the Surgery with my last ounce of dignity, still intact (well, just about)..

Waited and waited and waited in line, just like before, for my five minutes of fame. And when it was finally my turn, I hopped in, using my new, eBay acquired, crutches.

[Doctor] Hello Mr. H - what can i do for you today...

[Me] I seem to have lots of pain in my right leg, thigh, knee, and everywhere else.. Its similar to the pain I had before..

[Doctor] Have you done anything Physical, lifted anything heavy, and the likes...

[Me] No..

[Doctor] Lets check your Blood Pressure first...

[Me] OK!

[Doctor] Blood Pressure seems to be fine, Can you stand on the scales..

[Me] OK! But it's my leg that's hurting...

[Doctor] The last time you've been here was in 2003 (Six years ago), and the time before that was in 1997, you have put on a Stone in weight since then..

[Me] Not bad, for six years of debauchery - Hell, I lived on bloody Big Macs, Whoppers, Pizzas and Kebabs for the past twelve years. I'm an ongoing walking, talking Junk Food experiment... I was so very happy and proud when I heard that I only managed to put on an extra measly Stone, after all that, but the Doctor clearly wasn't ...

[Doctor] Sit on the table please and take your pants off.

[Me] (here we go again)...

I sat on the examination table and let the Doctor do his bidding, he pulls, pushes, squashes, squeezes, twists, bangs, prods, ties my legs in a knot round my neck, and asking me at the same time whether it hurts or not, well guess what, they all bloody do, a hell of a lot...

[Doctor] Well Mr. H..... - I don't know what you have, but its better if you can go to the Accident and Emergency department tomorrow and have an X-Ray - this might shed some light and the situation, and also, can we see you afterward for a Cholesterol Check.

[Me] Is that the stuff you spread on toast?

The Doctor was not impressed with the comment, oh yes, I will come back when I'm feeling better... Thank you and goodbye.

The thing is, I did have some pain when I went to the Doctor, I was able to hop and walk a bit, but now, I'm in total agony and I can't walk at all... Thank you Doctor, now I know why I only visit you once every six years... See you in 2015 (if I can help it, and if we're both still around)..