Ever since the infamous Spongers annual night out (Children in Need), I really can't be bothered watching TV much or writing about spongers, I don't know whether it was the over saturation or the pain of actually watching bits of it, as well as that, the actual physical pain in the leg doesn't seem to help..
I will just have to look forward to the annual barrage of fitness DVD's in January.. Just when we all start our New Year's resolutions to become non-smoking, healthy, wealthy, young, fit, beautiful, full of beans, ultimate, Greek God like, Super Specimens.. (Just 2 weeks before we break all these promises and give up altogether)..
Merry Christmas to all and best wishes for the New Year..
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The pain of it all... Part II
I really, really can’t stand the pain any longer – Today, and after 2 weeks of being a Macho Man and hoping that the pain, somehow, subsides, I decided to go and see my Doctor..
I put half a ton of “Heat Rub” on the leg, swallowed, my pride and, a couple of Painkillers and I was good to go… I managed to get to the Surgery with my last ounce of dignity, still intact (well, just about)..
Waited and waited and waited in line, just like before, for my five minutes of fame. And when it was finally my turn, I hopped in, using my new, eBay acquired, crutches.
[Doctor] Hello Mr. H - what can i do for you today...
[Me] I seem to have lots of pain in my right leg, thigh, knee, and everywhere else.. Its similar to the pain I had before..
[Doctor] Have you done anything Physical, lifted anything heavy, and the likes...
[Me] No..
[Doctor] Lets check your Blood Pressure first...
[Me] OK!
[Doctor] Blood Pressure seems to be fine, Can you stand on the scales..
[Me] OK! But it's my leg that's hurting...
[Doctor] The last time you've been here was in 2003 (Six years ago), and the time before that was in 1997, you have put on a Stone in weight since then..
[Me] Not bad, for six years of debauchery - Hell, I lived on bloody Big Macs, Whoppers, Pizzas and Kebabs for the past twelve years. I'm an ongoing walking, talking Junk Food experiment... I was so very happy and proud when I heard that I only managed to put on an extra measly Stone, after all that, but the Doctor clearly wasn't ...
[Doctor] Sit on the table please and take your pants off.
[Me] (here we go again)...
I sat on the examination table and let the Doctor do his bidding, he pulls, pushes, squashes, squeezes, twists, bangs, prods, ties my legs in a knot round my neck, and asking me at the same time whether it hurts or not, well guess what, they all bloody do, a hell of a lot...
[Doctor] Well Mr. H..... - I don't know what you have, but its better if you can go to the Accident and Emergency department tomorrow and have an X-Ray - this might shed some light and the situation, and also, can we see you afterward for a Cholesterol Check.
[Me] Is that the stuff you spread on toast?
The Doctor was not impressed with the comment, oh yes, I will come back when I'm feeling better... Thank you and goodbye.
The thing is, I did have some pain when I went to the Doctor, I was able to hop and walk a bit, but now, I'm in total agony and I can't walk at all... Thank you Doctor, now I know why I only visit you once every six years... See you in 2015 (if I can help it, and if we're both still around)..
I put half a ton of “Heat Rub” on the leg, swallowed, my pride and, a couple of Painkillers and I was good to go… I managed to get to the Surgery with my last ounce of dignity, still intact (well, just about)..
Waited and waited and waited in line, just like before, for my five minutes of fame. And when it was finally my turn, I hopped in, using my new, eBay acquired, crutches.
[Doctor] Hello Mr. H - what can i do for you today...
[Me] I seem to have lots of pain in my right leg, thigh, knee, and everywhere else.. Its similar to the pain I had before..
[Doctor] Have you done anything Physical, lifted anything heavy, and the likes...
[Me] No..
[Doctor] Lets check your Blood Pressure first...
[Me] OK!
[Doctor] Blood Pressure seems to be fine, Can you stand on the scales..
[Me] OK! But it's my leg that's hurting...
[Doctor] The last time you've been here was in 2003 (Six years ago), and the time before that was in 1997, you have put on a Stone in weight since then..
[Me] Not bad, for six years of debauchery - Hell, I lived on bloody Big Macs, Whoppers, Pizzas and Kebabs for the past twelve years. I'm an ongoing walking, talking Junk Food experiment... I was so very happy and proud when I heard that I only managed to put on an extra measly Stone, after all that, but the Doctor clearly wasn't ...
[Doctor] Sit on the table please and take your pants off.
[Me] (here we go again)...
I sat on the examination table and let the Doctor do his bidding, he pulls, pushes, squashes, squeezes, twists, bangs, prods, ties my legs in a knot round my neck, and asking me at the same time whether it hurts or not, well guess what, they all bloody do, a hell of a lot...
[Doctor] Well Mr. H..... - I don't know what you have, but its better if you can go to the Accident and Emergency department tomorrow and have an X-Ray - this might shed some light and the situation, and also, can we see you afterward for a Cholesterol Check.
[Me] Is that the stuff you spread on toast?
The Doctor was not impressed with the comment, oh yes, I will come back when I'm feeling better... Thank you and goodbye.
The thing is, I did have some pain when I went to the Doctor, I was able to hop and walk a bit, but now, I'm in total agony and I can't walk at all... Thank you Doctor, now I know why I only visit you once every six years... See you in 2015 (if I can help it, and if we're both still around)..
Today's magic word...
Plastic Surgery and Botox
One of the greatest mysteries of our time seems to be that of how all recipients of Plastic surgery and botox seem to converge to the same point of human perfection...
And if that does not convince you, "not to do it", then you really, really have some deep psychological issues and you really need some professional help....
One of the greatest mysteries of our time seems to be that of how all recipients of Plastic surgery and botox seem to converge to the same point of human perfection... And if that does not convince you, "not to do it", then you really, really have some deep psychological issues and you really need some professional help....
The pain of it all...
There is something that is really troubling me.. It all started around 20 years ago, the day after a, very lively, game of football. I had some sort of pain in my right leg muscles. I went to the doctor and told him the story, he examined me, and decided that there was nothing wrong (he probably thought that it was all in the head, or just a simple muscle strain), and told me to take a couple of Paracetamol tablets, some muscle rub and, sort of, live with it - until my body fixed itself...
For the next few days I was in absolute agony. So I went to the doctor again, this time he told me to carry on with the tablets and rub combo (tabrub), and to also do some, "new age", Leg Stretch Exercises, in order to strengthen my muscles...
Needless to say, this did not work either, in fact, it made the pain ever more severe... It was so painful, I could not work, walk, talk, eat, sleep, love, laugh or do anything else... It was just bad... And you know when you are in pain, you listen to every idiot and try everything to alleviate that, and I did.. Somebody told me how good "Chinese Acupuncture" was, and how everybody that had it done, was walking and jumping within 5 minutes, no pain, just pure blissful unadulterated joy - During that period, the Devil's box in the corner was in the "Alternate Medicine" phase, so I really did believe that, and I really wanted it to work.. I was so very, very, very receptive to the idea - sadly, it did not work (full story here)...
Two days down the line, with the pain in full swing,, I decided to get a second opinion, so I went to the local Accident & Emergency department of the local Hospital... And waited in the queue (full story here).. They gave me 2 Crutches and prescribed some very, very, very strong painkillers.. These did work...
To cut a long story short and get back to the present day, I seem to get the same debilitating pain, at exactly the same place, every year, ever since that incident... And for the past week, I have been sitting, in agony, unable to move or do anything, I'm sure its some sort of a warped alien experiment that's gone wrong - they just keep coming back every year to see how much more pain one can tolerate, or maybe, its just old age catching up with me...
I really need to know what's happening and the reason for it - please help, the pain is just so......
For the next few days I was in absolute agony. So I went to the doctor again, this time he told me to carry on with the tablets and rub combo (tabrub), and to also do some, "new age", Leg Stretch Exercises, in order to strengthen my muscles...
Needless to say, this did not work either, in fact, it made the pain ever more severe... It was so painful, I could not work, walk, talk, eat, sleep, love, laugh or do anything else... It was just bad... And you know when you are in pain, you listen to every idiot and try everything to alleviate that, and I did.. Somebody told me how good "Chinese Acupuncture" was, and how everybody that had it done, was walking and jumping within 5 minutes, no pain, just pure blissful unadulterated joy - During that period, the Devil's box in the corner was in the "Alternate Medicine" phase, so I really did believe that, and I really wanted it to work.. I was so very, very, very receptive to the idea - sadly, it did not work (full story here)... Two days down the line, with the pain in full swing,, I decided to get a second opinion, so I went to the local Accident & Emergency department of the local Hospital... And waited in the queue (full story here).. They gave me 2 Crutches and prescribed some very, very, very strong painkillers.. These did work...
To cut a long story short and get back to the present day, I seem to get the same debilitating pain, at exactly the same place, every year, ever since that incident... And for the past week, I have been sitting, in agony, unable to move or do anything, I'm sure its some sort of a warped alien experiment that's gone wrong - they just keep coming back every year to see how much more pain one can tolerate, or maybe, its just old age catching up with me...
I really need to know what's happening and the reason for it - please help, the pain is just so......
ICE, ICE BABY..
Today - a customer phoned me, they were having a problem with their home PC and asked me if I could go and check it.. I said OK...
The next day, I went there to check the offending PC - The first thing I noticed, was that, the house has gone "Bigger", it had acquired two or three houses either sides of the original property, a "New" Electric Gates, a "New" Surrounding Fence, a "New" Intercom System, a "New" Driveway, 2 "New, Shiny" Black 4 X 4 Vehicles with Tinted windows, and 2 "New" Small, Sporty, Vehicles and a Lowly Ice Cream Van - and while the property was a 2 Up/2 Down mid-terrace house last year, today it is a 6-8 Up/6-8 Down, with everything inside brand new and refurbished to an exacting standard... I'm not one for envy or anything like that, I don't really care much for money or material possessions, I'm happy if I have it, but its not the end of the world, if I don't, sort of, a bit like in idealistic John Lennon, without the money, the fame or the success, but with integrity..
I remember from the last visit, that the only person who had a job in the house was the father with a lowly banger of an Ice Cream Van. I thought, he must be struggling, selling Ice Cream, because things did not look that promising at the time....
However, this time, you can tell that there was no money worries, so while chatting about the PC, I asked the man (me being nosy), if he still had the same job, and to my surprise, he said "yes"... So I left it at that, but thought "Things must be good in Ice Cream land" ...
Two weeks later, I was picking my daughter from School, I saw an Ice Cream Van parked outside. My daughter wanted an Ice Cream, so I said OK - I recognised the gentleman and noticed that people were paying a bit more for their Ice Cream than usual.. And they were ordering, what I can only assume to be, some very "Exotic", varieties of the stuff, in small packets...
I got the Ice Cream and left, singing - ICE, ICE BABY.. - I'm really in the wrong job here...
The next day, I went there to check the offending PC - The first thing I noticed, was that, the house has gone "Bigger", it had acquired two or three houses either sides of the original property, a "New" Electric Gates, a "New" Surrounding Fence, a "New" Intercom System, a "New" Driveway, 2 "New, Shiny" Black 4 X 4 Vehicles with Tinted windows, and 2 "New" Small, Sporty, Vehicles and a Lowly Ice Cream Van - and while the property was a 2 Up/2 Down mid-terrace house last year, today it is a 6-8 Up/6-8 Down, with everything inside brand new and refurbished to an exacting standard... I'm not one for envy or anything like that, I don't really care much for money or material possessions, I'm happy if I have it, but its not the end of the world, if I don't, sort of, a bit like in idealistic John Lennon, without the money, the fame or the success, but with integrity..
I remember from the last visit, that the only person who had a job in the house was the father with a lowly banger of an Ice Cream Van. I thought, he must be struggling, selling Ice Cream, because things did not look that promising at the time....
However, this time, you can tell that there was no money worries, so while chatting about the PC, I asked the man (me being nosy), if he still had the same job, and to my surprise, he said "yes"... So I left it at that, but thought "Things must be good in Ice Cream land" ...
Two weeks later, I was picking my daughter from School, I saw an Ice Cream Van parked outside. My daughter wanted an Ice Cream, so I said OK - I recognised the gentleman and noticed that people were paying a bit more for their Ice Cream than usual.. And they were ordering, what I can only assume to be, some very "Exotic", varieties of the stuff, in small packets...
I got the Ice Cream and left, singing - ICE, ICE BABY.. - I'm really in the wrong job here...
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