Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you - Her Majesty, The Queen...

And finally,  the Queen is demanding her first pay rise in 20 years to plug a looming £6million deficit in the royal household's finances.  Palace officials have warned the Treasury they need a dramatic rise in the £7.9million annual civil list to maintain spending on state duties.

The Queen's treasurer Sir Alan Reid has told Government officials that the monarch's expenditure is running at £6million more than the annual allowance. The shortfall is being met by an emergency reserve which is due to run out in 2012 - the Queen's Diamond Jubilee year. The civil list is negotiated every ten years and the Government has to report to Parliament on the grant by July 3 at the latest.

Courtiers say the Queen should, at least, expect an increase to her annual funding which takes account of inflation over the past two decades. Prices have soared by 80 per cent in that time.The current level of the civil list was agreed by former prime minister John Major when he was chancellor of the exchequer in 1990, and frozen by Tony Blair in 2000.

Palace officials have since been dipping into a surplus accumulated in the 1990s, which peaked with a cash reserve of £35million. However, this is down to £14million and due to run out in 2012. One royal courtier said: 'The Queen has only been able to manage by very prudent financial management and by drawing on reserves.'

I don't really know what Queen things the Queen actually does, so I'm not gonna comment on that, I will just leave you with a photo of her majesty, and a thought - that "The French had the right idea".

When BOTOX and Queens go wild..

And for all of you who think that the Monarchy is worth every penny, I give you Prince Edward and the rest of the Royal Household. The monarchy costs more than £41.5million a year in public funds, equivalent to 69p a year for each taxpayer - excluding the cost of security, over £150,000,000.00 - yes, that's another one hundred and fifty million pounds. About 70 per cent of the £7.9million civil list expenditure goes on staff salaries. It also pays for official functions such as garden parties, receptions and entertainment.

Graham Smith, of Republic, which campaigns for an elected head of state, said the request was a 'national disgrace'. He said: 'The palace is demanding more money because it has been wasteful, secretive and incompetent.'

But Tory MP Edward Leigh, chairman of the Public Accounts Committee which monitors the royal finances, said: 'The Queen needs substantially more money to carry out her duties and responsibilities. The Queen and the Royal Family do a fantastic job considering their very small resources.'

Daily Exercise.....

Once I hit a certain age, my daily exercise regime seems to consist of going to the toilet, and watching TV...

Now I'm seriously thinking of hanging an LCD TV in the bathroom, that way I can double my productivity.

What's the story Microsoft...

I have to share this story with you - I had a malware infection, around a year or so ago, on one of my PC's. You know the one. It's the one that keeps on  telling you that you have an infection and you have to buy the antivirus that will cure itself, or something to that effect...

The Machine was running Windows XP, I tried everything to remove the infection, short of formatting the hard drive, but I just failed, because of the way Internet Explorer works, Controls and Interacts with the PC. So after trying everything and nearly giving up, I decided to remove Internet Explorer completely from my PC, and I did.

I used Firefox instead on that machine since. I checked it again and again and again with a variety of Security Software and Scanners, I got rid of all the infection and everything was running smoothly, however, there was a slight performance hit, the PC just did not feel right, in-spite of all my efforts ..

I kept on thinking that there was something there, running in the background, but nothing could find it... I tried Hijack This, MalwareBytes, Panda Security, Ad Aware, AVG Antivirus, Microsoft Security Essentials, to mention a few, but none of these could find anything. I stopped all unnecessary services, all programs that load automatically at start-up, including all auto-updates (not the Windows ones), but there was still no change. The PC just felt a bit clunky. The machine was not that important, so I just left it on one side, and only used it when I had to, around twice a month...

Today was one of those rare occasions when I was using the machine. While browsing the Internet, I decided to search for a replacement car, so I visited  www.autotrader.co.uk - but sadly, FireFox did not display the pages,  pop-ups and photos of vehicles at all (Probably something to do with my settings), but I knew from other machines that the site and photos do display correctly on IE...  It has been nearly 2 years since my infection,  so, I decided to download a copy of Internet Explorer 8 and see what happens..

I downloaded this, installed it, updated it, restarted the machine.... and Guess what, the machine started working properly after the reboot. No slowing down and no Clunkyness.. With the only difference being Internet Explorer.

So to recap, with IE8 installed, the machine was working perfectly, but without IE, it was Clunky and not very responsive.  And the only conclusion that I could come up with is, somehow, someone, somewhere, probably at Microsoft, decided that, in order to stop me and others from using FireFox or other browsers, or to remove IE,  they would just slow down the computer for you, until you use Internet Explorer again.

Either way, the above is based on conjuncture, gut feelings, and the actual feel and responsiveness of the machine, but, I might just be wrong .... BUT THE MACHINE IS FASTER NOW...

Gok Wan - is he?

On TV we have many Camp and Uber Gay presenters and personalities, I have nothing against anybody (I'm not Jesus and I don't judge anybody). However, Gok Wan is different somehow. There is something there that I just can't put my finger on it.

He acts gay, dress gay, moves gay, talks gay, has a gay hair style but, I still don't think he's all that gay. "He really likes touching Women's boobs", "He really likes watching naked Ladies", and he keeps telling them "Don't Worry Girlfriend, I'm your Auntie Gok and I'm Gay".

Somehow, I feel that he is really a very Straight Genius Guy, who likes to touch and fondle females, and because if anybody did that, they would be branded pervs, Gok Wan can get away with it, because he pretends to be gay... What a Genius..

As soon as the cameras are turned off, he scratches his private bits... His real deep, manly, voice would echo around the set, "Well done lads, its a wrap - Lets go to the Pub for a Pint of Bitter and a Potato Pie, those bloody pants are murder......

Here John, what did you think of the "Arse on that Joanne"; "What about those Juicy Buns, haba, haba, haba


My only regret is that I did not come up with that idea before Gok Wan...

Gok Wan we salute you... You are a real genius... A shining light to all mankind... We thank you...

PS . And if you are really gay ;), which we doubt, then we still thank you for bringing some nudity to an otherwise,  ordinary, TV program..

The Domino Principle..

I don't know why, but when I have toothache, I can't feel anything else, I can't think, eat, drink, sleep, laugh, cry, nor do I feel any other pain. The pain is so overwhelming, that it is masking everything else in its way.. And when you have it seen to, you start feeling where the next point of weakness is..

It's like the body is prioritising what pain to inflect upon you next...

WTF?

The other day there was something on the news about the birth of Sextuplet somewhere in darkest Oxford. Today, there is the sad news that one of the babies has lost the fight...

The story is very sad, however, what I did not like, was the fact that Max Clifford is being appointed by the parents as their PR consultant and spokesperson.. What is going on, is that how we do things nowadays. Would we not be a bit too distraught to do, or think of money, or anything like this at this time..

How sad...

I'm having a shit, can I have Mr. Clifford as my PR consultant.

Barbara Harris

Barbara Harris is bringing project to pay drug addicts to be sterilised to UK. In 1997 American mum Barbara Harris, 57, decided to start a scheme to pay female and male drug addicts or alcoholics in America to be either sterilised or to commit to long-term contraception. It's an initiative that's appalled many but also gained support from people who believe such action is the only way to combat the crippling social problems that come with drug abuse. Today 1,226 women in America have taken money to be sterilised and now Barbara is bringing 'Project Prevention' to Britain.

Addicts who want to accept her offer of £200 must be sterilised or fitted with a contraceptive implant - anything that will assure her they will not be able to get pregnant.

Whats next, poor people, emigrants, Blacks, Chines, Concentration Camps, or why not just line up addicts against a wall and shoot them.

I can't believe how many are advocating this! It's the same principle used in Nazi Germany, in that - let's stop "undesirables" from reproducing. No one has the right to make the judgment on who can and who cannot reproduce.

Of course one could argue that these women have free will and can CHOOSE not to be sterilised. This is obviously the argument she adopts: "These women make decisions every day ." However, this is undermined by one of her very own "patients" - "I didn't think about birth control when I was an addict. When you're on drugs, drugs are your priority."

Their judgment is obviously muddied by their drug problem and to take advantage of that is, at best, verging on playing God...

The Only Way Is......

Life begins at forty, or does it.. Ever since I turned 40, I seem to get pain in places I never knew existed.... Everything is heading southward. Everything hurts, a hell of a lot, the things that I want smaller, seem to be getting bigger, and the things that I want bigger, seem to be shrinking.

But what can one do, and as they say in Bolton; The Only Way is Sideways. Because, once you're at the bottom, there is no up.

DM Health Warning

Pop Quiz...

Q - How to Double the value of your vehicle within 2 minutes?
A - Put  £25.00 worth of Petrol in the tank.

Q - How to Triple the value of your vehicle within 2 minutes?
A - Easy, fill your tank.



This might not apply to people with normal cars, however - If you make me an offer, I will let you have my car for less than the price of a full tank of petrol.

Sorry Billy Ocean..

I bought some tickets, ages ago, to see Billy Ocean in Concert, sort of celebrating my wife's birthday - For the past 3 days I had Man Flu, so I couldn't really do much - Today is the concert day, so I was unable to go and see Mr. Ocean - my apologies to my Wife and to Mr. Ocean.

It's a sad, sad day...

You can read my final Gordon's Fault blog at the usual address http://blamegordon.blogspot.com/ it's sad when anything comes to an end, but this time there is a sense of hope and exhilaration, at the same time (depends on who wins the election) - I hope the country gets what it truly deserves. A good, caring Priminister, somebody not too different from Gordon Brown - Either way and regardless, Goodbye.

I love GOOGLE Street Map

I did not know much about Google Street Map until recently, apart from the media privacy and scare stories.

The other day, after visiting the "FARM OF HORROR", I wanted to know exactly where it was, so I asked Google and followed the map, my son told me to drag the little yellow man over the street and see what happens. Low and behold, a heavenly vision, my street, my house, and even my car, looking brighter and even more beautiful than in real life..  I absolutely loved it... Can't wait to visit the world from my arm chair. Thank you GOOGLE.  http://local.google.co.uk/

Now, that's what I call fear...

It's 8:45PM, I've just visited the Petrol Station for some Fuel and some Air for the tyres. I fill up, and pay... One of my windows was smashed last week with a bottle of milk, by a drunken bastard, so I have a black bin liner for a window.

As soon I got in the car, a man opens the passenger side door (he was in his mid to late twenties, wearing black tracksuit bottoms, a black hooded top and a pair of white trainers. He had two missing front teeth, remnants of a cut across his lip and right cheek (looks like a, healed, knife slash) , looked and sounded a bit doped up but very fidgety and somewhat nervous), well I think he was high on life or something else. He asked me if I was interested in a replacement window, very cheap.. I declined, because I've already had bought a replacement from the scrap yard, but I just didn't have the time to fit it (too busy blogging)..  The man was very persistent, he said, you can have anything you need. His car was only 6 years old  and it was written off in a crash, around 3 years ago, you can have the engine, wheels, rims, doors, brakes, clutch, whatever.

To be honest with you, my car is a 10 year old bag of shit. It sounds and drives like an old lawnmower, and because of the amount of driving I do and mileage, tyres seem to deflate prematurely and they need inflating once every day, even after replacing these with new tyres. According to the garage, its not their fault, its the rims, that need replacing,  so the magic word was wheels and rims.

We haggled and agreed a price for a couple of wheels and rims.. He asked me to park by the side of the road, while he contacts his father "DOWN AT THE FARM". So I did.

I waited for 5 Minutes, while the man disappeared somewhere, probably to fetch his Stanly Knife. Suddenly, he opens the back passenger door and jumps in with a lit cigarette. I did not see him approaching the vehicle because I had black bin liners for windows.  He said, can we drive this way, Turn left, then right, so I followed the instructions to the letter, around a mile down the road, he asked me to turn left, down a very inconspicuous road (I've been living round that area for over 20 years, I drive on that main road at lease 4 times daily, and I've never noticed this road or turning before, Its as if it just appeared out of nowhere. So I turned left, followed by right, followed by a sharp left, then we ended on in the middle of nowhere dirt road. (I lived to tell the tale - to be continued)...

Why, oh why, oh why, oh why...

The other day I was driving to Stockport, and both the Clutch and Gearbox, on my car, died. and the car can only drive in 2nd gear or reverse...

The good news though, I managed to drive back from Stockport to Bolton (a 25 mile journey), using the motorway, in under 3 hours, and nobody even noticed (it was so busy, speed did not matter).. I was the one in the slow Black Car with a bin liner for a windows - (The window was smashed last week by a drunken bastard)...